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It Will all Begin Again Tomorrow
It begins with my fingers twisting across my jewelry,
the hairband around my wrist,
a gum wrapper stowed away, long forgotten,
until they are memorized.
Until the thoughts in my head
cannot be stopped or silenced.
Chest tightens and throat closes
like I’m going to vomit.
Heart and stomach trying to escape,
some unearthly force pushing them up,
suffocating me.
I am on the verge of collapse.
Body unsteady under me
shaking and sweaty, the ground tilting below my feet.
The world spins, blurring.
Chaotic chatting sounds off in the back of my head,
until I can no longer think.
Then it slithers from my brain,
down my throat, into my lungs,
squeezing out the oxygen,
until I can no longer breathe,
My mind is spiraling, my body with it.
Reality slows.
Heartbeat sounds in my ears, as though it is the engine of a jet.
Each second on the clock ticks by like it’s attached to dynamite.
I am filled with a sudden urge to dig my nails into my flesh and rip it out.
Brain slams against skull.
Sparks burn between retinas.
An explosion sounds.
Deafening.
Silence follows.
Then everything melts away.
The white hot spiral becoming emptiness.
The cold, harsh reality of relief.
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My poem It Will all Begin Again Tomorrow is description of day-to-day anxiety and stress. Within this poem I walk the reader through each step of the physical and metal buildup, as well as crash of emotion that happens afterward.
I am currently senior in high school. I have had an extraordinary life, and throughout I have faced with variety of obstacles. I have a myriad of learning disabilities including dyslexia and dysgraphia. I have also experienced a multitude of medical challenges, including a cleft palate, kyphosis, and in my junior year I had to take a leave of absence from school as I had contracted meningitis and a sleep disorder. Thankfully I have been able to recover and am I now fully back to school and able to write again.
While I have been creating stories of most of my life, it wasn’t until middle school that I began to write down my work. Since then I have worked on novels, short stories, and poems. My writings include many different aspects if my life from my medical history, to insecurities, to my sexuality. My writing is my greatest passion and after overcoming so many obstacles in my short life I am channel it into my work.