Do you ever feel as if you can’t breathe?

Like your entire world is

Crashing

Down

No matter how deeply you inhale you can’t breathe.

Than you lay in the water and you can breathe again and you are finally free from everything around you. Submerging yourself in its soothing powers knowing, soon you will be at peace forever. Your troubles are slowly carried off with the waves of the water, no more fighting,

Only peace.

It was that poem that landed me here.

In my living room.

With my parents looking at me with their ever-present disapproving glares.

“Why would you?”

      “How could you?”

I listen in pieces as they lecture me once again.

 “Embarrassing!”

      “Lies!”

That one cut the deepest.

“Why don’t you talk to us?”

Why would I? So you can say what I am feeling is stupid? Cut me off while I am speaking and roll your eyes? Telling me I’m being dramatic and I have no reason to feel the way I do? I don’t just look at everyone else with a more scrutinous eye and look at myself as perfect. Listen carefully at 12 o'clock and you’ll hear the tears. Whispers of anger towards myself, not just my peers.

Worthless.

Careless.

Stupid.

Hotheaded.

Idiot.

Screwed up.

Problem-child.

That’s you.

Fool to think they would ACTUALLY like YOU.

“I don’t blame them for favoring her over me.”

“They claim they favor no child but I know they do.”

“...Well, actually, they just don’t love YOU.”

Your room is right next to mine.

How do you miss my cries?

My insults thrown at myself?

The marks and scars I have left on myself tell a story, but you don’t want to read it.

Not really.

You just want whatever it is to be gone.

This time I will lay in the water and breathe again, be free again and I shall not return.

I will purge the world of this failure.

And rid my family and friends of this heavy burden they have had to bare, by laying in the water.

I lower myself in the water as I let go of all my problems.

I’m sorry for being a

Worthless.

Careless.

Stupid.

Hotheaded.

Idiot.

Screwed up.

Problem-child.

Fool to think you would ACTUALLY love ME.