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I Resemble Normal
I have been fighting since the day I was born,
damaged and bloodied.
I’m done.
I am tired of having to be fixed.
I’ve been stuck with needles, shoved into braces,
cut open, rearranged, put together again
until I resemble normal.
But I know that will never be true.
I have been told that I am broken
that that is all I am.
Self-hatred has comes so easy.
My history makes a great story,
having to raise my head in the face of adversary,
needing to have grace and appreciation.
I want to cry and scream.
I should be grateful for all I have
but it has all been too much for me to handle.
Eighteen years of this shit has drained me,
and I don’t know what to do,
when I’m tired.
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My poem I Resemble Normal is a look into my extensive medical history and my insecurities that have grown from it. Within this poem I speak about some of the darkest feelings towards myself, that I often feel forced to hide away for the sake of others. This poem is a way for me to express my fears, my hatred towards myself, and most of all my exhaustion.
I am currently senior in high school. I have had an extraordinary life, and throughout I have faced with variety of obstacles. I have a myriad of learning disabilities including dyslexia and dysgraphia. I have also experienced a multitude of medical challenges, including a cleft palate, kyphosis, and in my junior year I had to take a leave of absence from school as I had contracted meningitis and a sleep disorder. Thankfully I have been able to recover and am I now fully back to school and able to write again.
While I have been creating stories of most of my life, it wasn’t until middle school that I began to write down my work. Since then I have worked on novels, short stories, and poems. My writings include many different aspects if my life from my medical history, to insecurities, to my sexuality. My writing is my greatest passion and after overcoming so many obstacles in my short life I am channel it into my work.