No one told me how hard it is when you lose a pet

Honestly the worst feeling I’ve ever felt

Nothing you can do

Like watching a car crash and not being able

to stop it because it’s too late

You try to ease the pain for them

Forced to keep him dying a secret

The emotional toll it takes on you

Watching him in pain every day

Running to him the second he utters a sound

Feeling like there’s no escape from the sadness

Walking in on your parents crying next to him

Watching him not do the things he loves to do

Watching my parents give him shots

Being forced to hold him down when he gets force fed

Feeling like the walls are closing in on you

Feeling hopeless all the time

Hoping he’s still alive when you come home from school

Realizing it’s time

To free him of the pain

Cradling him the whole way to the vet

Wrapped up in my childhood blanket to keep him warm

Can’t control my tears anymore

Giving him one last hug before he goes on the table

Eye level with him

Telling him that he’s okay and he won’t hurt anymore

Watching the vet put in the shot

Watching him look around

Like how a newborn kitten opens his eyes for the first time and

can finally look at the world

Having no idea what’s happening

His head hits the table

My body goes instantly numb

I lost my best friend

My rock

We grew up together

Instantly regretting not spending more time with him

He’s gone.

I feel alone

I miss him more than even I know

Saying I love you to him for the last time

Always repeating in my head

I just want him back