Actually, it's Sam now | Teen Ink

Actually, it's Sam now

October 19, 2018
By Samazing BRONZE, Houston, Texas
Samazing BRONZE, Houston, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It shouldn't hurt like it does.

It shouldnt feel like a stab wound everytime I hear it.

That name hangs on me like a curse.

I hear it at school, when substitutes read out the names on the attendance sheet.

They don't know any better, I shouldn't be angry.

I hear it escape the mouths of my family, and they laugh it off like it doesn't matter.

They didn't mean to, some of them don't know.

I hear it in my head, when my brain screams at me.

You're probably faking it, it would be so much easier if you just stopped perpetuating it, how hard is it to be called Sa-


They don't really believe you, they call you she in their heads, everytime they turn their backs they call you-


That's not my name.

I'm Sam. I always have been.

One day, I'll escape that name. I'll break the curse.

For now, I guess I just have to get used to invisible stab wounds.

The author's comments:

I wrote this because I wanted to make sure any trans person who sees this gets this message:

Getting called by the wrong name or pronouns sucks, but it doesn't make you any less trans. It doesn't make you any less valid. And sometimes, it seems like maybe it would be easier to just stop trying, to say it was just a phase and submit to your role as your assigned gender, but I assure you, that doesn't make it any easier.

Don't be afraid to be yourself. As long as you don't hurt yourself or others and you're in an environment where you won't be hurt for it, wear what you want to wear. Don't worry about what other people say; someone will always have an opinion. Those people don't matter. Just do what makes you really, truly happy.

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