I speak them so much, I’ve started believing.

They’re little and white but really not so much.

I’d say “I’m fine” when my chest is heaving.

My family asks about my boyfriends and all I can do is blush.

Do I want attention, or do I believe it?

I think that I live honestly, but is that a lie too?

Everything is mixed up confusion, and the breath in my throat becomes thick.

It’s my philosophy, but I can’t control what I do.

I want to live my truth, but I’m ashamed with who I am.

I know what I want, but I can’t make it happen.

I know when I’m honest, but it’s that part of me I can’t stand.

So for now I’ll twist the truth and I’ll fit right in.

It’s really not that bad, my anxiety just makes me think so.

There are few things I stretch the truth about.

I do live honestly, it’s the anxiety that makes me think “no.”

Like “I hate my mental disorders” that I wouldn’t be me without.

There are hard things to face, but I have the courage.

It just takes some time for me to overcome things.

The lies and mistakes, however, will be placed in my brain for permanent storage.

Along with the anxiety they bring.

When I say one, it snowballs out of control.

I know I need to shut my mouth.

I know that all they bring me is woe.

I just can’t help but blurt them all out.

Is it my anxiety itself that causes them to start?

I just have to let it go, we all do it from time to time.

The fear of the truth, causing my racing heart.

This is not who I am, it’s just a lie.