I'm stuck, in a black box

Your voice slowly fades and all i could hear was you telling me to breathe, but it's impossible

Its like i have no lungs.

You hold my cold clammy hand as convulsions take over and memories flood

My mind.

Like a slideshow of the deepest darkest parts of my life.

*click*

I relive every moment of the horror of being raped, feeling the hands all over me thousands of them.

*click*

I see my stepfather hanging from what use to be our deck, now it's where a man driven insane by the evil world who took away his last breath, where i use to play as a child,

Where i cannot touch the porise wood, in fear that if i do i too will take my last breath.

*click*

Molestation, he was supposed to be my best friend,

He says its hide and seek but it more like him saying

“Let's take a peek”

“A feel”

“Your innocence”

*click*

The movies in my head that make me fear the good in life the fear of trust, fear of love, fear of whatever a normal human should feel.

I continue to shake and the burning sensation of tears streaming down my face,

Curled into fetal position i awake to find you.

You sitting there.

Still there throughout this terror, though everything?

Why?