I craved it

I liked the feeling of rubies

Spilling down my arms

Scraping my fingertips as they fell

Rough and uncut

They had weighed me down,

So now I floated

Not drowning anymore

Enveloped by a dark sea of despair

With no origin

Rubies long lost,

But for the ability to breathe

To feel air on my face

Rubies were expendable

Otherwise

Just darkness

I felt the ground give way

Crumbling

I felt my heart collapse

Falling

Following my fortune

Led to my ruin

Red rubies, riches my heart made

Tumbling to the floor

Rubies that stain the bedsheets

Rubies that stain the mahogany-finish floors

Rubies that splash the wooden desktop

and paint scissor handles bright red

And a slick blade

Like diamonds

Diamonds and rubies

I look like I’m the richest girl in the world, don’t I

With all my jewels

But you don’t see

How I still yearn to lose more gems each night

To keep me afloat

I feel as if I’m drowning

Discarding my precious stones

Discarding saves me

Discarding helps me to live

Enveloped in a dark sea of despair

Trying to break the surface

I break only when I am discarding

No origin

No light

Simply rubies,

Tumbling from my arms

Having riches,

Talk about having riches;

Riches is shunning diamond blades

Riches is the ability to not love discarding

Riches is when you never have to see rubies tumble

Because of your own self.

How rich is rich,

If your riches cause misery?

I am poor,

I am in debt, even.

I owe myself so much and yet

someday I may spill more rubies than I can make

I’ll be discarding them all,

and who will fish me out of that sea of despair, now that I float?