I sat on the black leather couch

Twiddling my thumbs as I tried to lock my eyes on the white

Coat who tried to make sense of my daily struggle at school

Aware every time someone walks in, anxiety

When sitting down calm watching TV

My mom used to come to my room every night

To kiss me, but most nights she would walk to my closet

Find me hiding under the hanging shirts, denying to go to bed

So much I could do instead of sleeping 8 hours

I could try on all my dancing costumes I would use this week

Practice my routine endlessly until it came natural to me

So much to do, to miss, on a single night

I’d resist her strong arms pulling me out of my dark hiding spot

Pleading her to take me out, it was to early to sleep

Finally, if I was successful or if she was in a good mood she’d agree

Carry me to her car for a soothing short night drive

Sitting on the back of my mom’s grey minivan

I pressed flat my cheeks and nose to the window

Stared out to the vast sky I counted stars until I lost track

Every street sign I read out loud trying to map out

All the city’s streets in my mind

After our drive, my mom carried me back to my pink twin bed

She would roll up a single cotton sheet,

knowing that I would kick any other blankets out, and kiss me again

Sleepless voices visited my head every night

Eyes red from exhaustion I shut them tight

There’s no off button, too many thoughts strike me at once

I stared blankly at the doctor again

Hyperactivity, I overheard through the AC’s white noise that crowded my ears

Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder, he diagnosed