Godmtoher's Maybe | Teen Ink

Godmtoher's Maybe

June 19, 2018
By Anonymous

Your heart and motives are questionable
Seeing as though you have no hope: no faith in me
Telling you how I feel became something to befriend and run from
Whenever I talked you ignored me with your mind capturing the attention of someone else
It’s always someone else......!!!!! interfering and breaking the bonds
It’s like your scared of me and I’m something unknown you can’t get too close to
You were burned and my sight scarred your flesh
My longing to know who you are is something you aren’t ready to face or handle
Left eye has blazes roaring on the inside begging to be let out
Someone so insignificant to unfamiliar people but the world to me
Someone that stopped a bullet and the waterfall of blood
Someone that kept a heart beating and a soul cheerful
Someone that has hauled traffic and guided indescribable thoughts
Someone that has wiped tears and kept the peace
Where did she go......? the woman who feared no one but god himself
The woman who was down for you if you were down for her
The woman who always kept it 💯
What happened to the woman who saved a life and changed the course of the future
I don’t know where you’re at but I really do miss you
And at this point I just hope things will get back on track


The author's comments:

This piece was written at a time when I was vunerable emotionally and really loooking for a mother figure, but was unsucessful. It describes my battle with depression and sucide and how i longed for my godmothers love and attention. Not realizing i was my heart's only willing opponent when it came down to loving her even though she obviously did not care about me. I convinced myself she loved me and showed it in her own way even though deep down i knew that wasnt true. She played me and still managed to convince me my intuition and gut was lying to me. Towards the end of the poem my emotoions shift after i make the realization, but how i still hope that things will change for my sanity.


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