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You Cannot Know
You can't know what it's like,
To feel the way I do,
To know no matter how you try,
No one can ever love you.
They'll say they do but they dont,
They'll say they will but they wont,
they'll try their damndest to be yours,
Until they read the letters I wrote.
They'll see I never recovered,
From the blow to my face, my heart,
the broken pieces on the floor,
Proof that I do fall apart.
They see the words upon the page,
they feel the hurt, they know the rage,
They only see what they cannot handle,
they turn to me with eyes a blaze.
I am no doll to carry around,
A smile on my face for the world to admire,
I am a girl with a past, and mistakes,
A woman, walking a very thin wire...
You cannot know what it's become,
To live withthis knowledge, with no one,
All of my life I just wanted to be safe,
And now I continue to run.
You cannot know how I long to be free..
Of this wretched monster inside of me...
And yet you feed it with every word!!!
Why can the world not let me be...
I will curl up in my usual corner,
Pretending I have died...
So no one will touch me, try to understand,
The decisions I made... and the reasons I've cried...
"Kill me quickly" I said to guilt,
As I closed my eyes and waited..
"Oh, its never so simple as that,
You'll live your life, ever devistated"
Guilt laughed at me and took my face,
between it's filthy claws,
It made a cage, trapped me inside,
So the world could see my flaws.
You could not know the way it feels,
To be trapped within your mind,
stab me through, let the truth spill out,
This life is so unkind...