Speak when spoken to so you can calculate your words, so you can fine-tune your tones and expressions, so you can predict the mistake before it tumbles. Pay attention to detail so you know the true way to walk, the true face to make, the true laugh, the true stare, the true scoff, the true shrug, the true nod, the true scam. You only know your expressions if they’re manufactured for you.

Know when to stop, know when to start, know what to do. Always know, no exceptions allowed.

Tone it down

Keep your distance

Stare blankly

Look away

Stay quiet

Stay included

Stay here…

“Here?” You must’ve missed a turn. You hardly know anything “here,” you can’t even see what you are.  

The world is leaking through your eyes

Space is clogging your veins

People are marching in your lungs

The current is crushing your skull

And your hands are trembling trying to grasp at the straws that strangle you, that beg you to make amends-

“I didn’t mean to-“, “I never meant that-“, “I wasn’t trying-“, “Please don’t-“

But they don’t show up

To the party you avoided because you only knew two people.

They didn’t join in

On the phrases you chastised yourself for after only 15 seconds of conversation.

You were unaccompanied

To your seat in the back, where you can see the invisible gestures, hear the silent laughter, find the nonexistent glances, listen to the accusatory exclamations of nothing aimed at no one.

You “know” they’re there. You think you’re certain.

But the line was already crossed, and the words have overstayed their welcome.

Are you lost? Then make a choice.

Either stand at the podium, or sit down. But be warned, there is no guarantee that what you stand on is real, that it won’t come out from under you.

But that’s okay

Because the drop doesn’t hurt once you’ve already reached the bottom

Because the talons tickle and poke at the sides, you don’t feel the scratches anymore

Because there are no monsters down here, only friends with one-track minds

Because you bleed flowers once the teeth sink in deep enough

Because the skeletons dance to the tune of your heartbeat, on the strings that you sewed from the fibers of your muscles as they thinned and vanished with every attempted escape.

Do you know what you want? Can you see yourself through the haze?

Do you know what they see? How does it look?

You worry too much…over your silly reflection.

You say you can’t see it, but that doesn’t matter.

Because they say they can’t see you either.

And if no one can see anyone else,

Doesn’t that make you all clones anyway?