Unimaginative Proxility | Teen Ink

Unimaginative Proxility

April 3, 2009
By Green_Eyed_Irish PLATINUM, Vancouver, Washington
Green_Eyed_Irish PLATINUM, Vancouver, Washington
31 articles 0 photos 17 comments

You are me sagacious lager
You make my life phantasmagoric
A sublime expedient

My soul has a perpetual swagger
My effete proxility is euphoric
A specious obstruction

Your semblances hit like a cordial dagger
Your impetuous demeanor is angoric
A superfluous cataleptic

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This article has 1 comment.

Madison_R said...
on Apr. 27 2009 at 2:10 am
Madison_R, Carrollton, Texas
0 articles 3 photos 56 comments
This is very interesting. I assume you used big words for a purpose? It adds to the poem in a good way but maybe you should consider ending it with a line of very simple words that explains the whole poem or just ties it all together. Because honestly, I don't know what half of the words you used mean- I could only guess where the poem was going. So that's why I think one simple line at the end would tie it together and wrap it up.

Don't get me wrong- I really think you have good poetry. That's just a suggestion. So keep up the good work.