Yesterday as I scrambled through my chaotic papers
Through the disorganized shelf
In the corner of my room. I found a pile of books
Covered in dust and ashes. Soon as I ran my fingers through these memories in paper
I discovered a hidden envelope waiting to be found.

The envelope glanced and called my name repeatedly.
I opened it and its voice took me back to the past
And there I stayed for a while.
And there I stayed walking through the clueless years of my life
Reminiscing on a paper with the word “Honor Roll” written on it.

I remembered how I ran to my mother eager to show her the blue and gold envelope.
Proud to have my name written on it.
I remembered receiving it. I remembered the joy and pride my soul felt
As I said “Here mom. Good grades.” I remembered the tears in her eyes
that melted my heart and shattered it to pieces.

Her tears screamed sleepless nights and shattered dreams
Her eyes showed the pain of lost relatives and mirrored the longing of a home.
Missed friends and missed opportunities
I showed her good grades
And she showed me a better life.

And a few years later. Today I awaken and realize
The foolishness and clueless nature of myself
To think that a few fairly rated letters could substitute pain and sacrifice.
I realize that as I said “I give you good grades”
My mother responded with “I give you the American Dream”