Always | Teen Ink

Always

February 16, 2009
By KatieBugB GOLD, Casper, Wyoming
KatieBugB GOLD, Casper, Wyoming
11 articles 1 photo 0 comments

I can't believe I even thought of suicide. You should've seen all the tears I cried. There was racing thought running through my head. "What would people do if I were actually dead?" "If I weren't here would anyone care?" "If I had a funeral, would anyone be there?" I'm scared that my suicidal thoughts may turn into reality. My life means so much to me. From now on, when i feel like people don't care, I look over my shoulder because there's always an angel right there!!

The author's comments:
I'm 14 and I've been diagnosed as bi polar, OCD, ADHD, and was diagnosed with PTSD. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse for fours years. My dad chose drugs over me, and my mom became an alcoholic. I woke up everyday and kept wanting to live in the past because i told myself that i could've stopped it all from going downhill and i blamed myself for everything. I went into treatment and realized that my past is going to keep hurting me only if I keep deciding to drown myself in it. I used to cut and every time i got upset, I wanted to die... but i found a way out of it all. I stopped living in the past and i started living my life. It wasn't as easy as it seems, but in the end, the only thing I ever needed was the thing I had all along.... My voice! I write out all my pain and poetry has helped me so much and i just want to share my poetry with everyone just to let them know that they're not alone!! The most valuable thing I learned in treatment is that it's not how you fall, it's how you pick yourself back up!

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This article has 1 comment.


on May. 5 2009 at 2:43 pm
daisydee123 SILVER, Gotham City, Illinois
5 articles 19 photos 66 comments
your comment is very sad. im sorry you have thought of suiside. im sorry your life is terrible i know from experience that poetry can always help. the one flaw is the title i really dont get it.