everything is just another lie in the world and you cannot expect your life to get better if you dont at least try to make it better. if you make it better than good for you. when i was younger, i went through hell and back trying to make everything better and when nothing did, i got depressed. you may think i am wanting your pity or your "its okays" but i dont cre for any of that, i have had this on my chest since i was 11. when i was eleven i expierenced something no 11 year old should, i was hit  by a car and my life flashed before my eyes and i was not too happy with my life i was actually pretty mad about it. i thought everything was over with....but it wasnt. believe me everything was abnormal for me and i felt hated by everything and everyone.... when i was in 6th grade everyone bullied me and i didnt want to believe it was happening to me until one day i woke up from the dazy i was in, i woke uo and realized i was doing nothing to prevent this bully from bullying me and so i tried to prevent it and when i tried i got shoved down, kicked, punched, called horrible and inhuman words. i wanted to end everything and i almost did quite a few times.... but one thing stopped me and its not gunna be some cheesy thing like family or friends and or love and hope, no. i stopped myself from jumping off of a giant bridge and i stopped myself from the pain i could have brought myself and others that i thought cared at the time, now i am free to live my life and i am free to be me. yes there is rules in my life but they cannot ever be compared to the rules i endured when i was 6yrs old until i was 12. life is funny and changes all the time. i guess the only thing you can do is be happy that your not dead and that you are not enduring some idiotic situation. if you feel like something is bad, dont do it or go through with it. it has been 4yrs since my last suicidal thought. i am now a happy, healthy and somewhat spoiled 16yr old.