WHY?

Why does this always happen? Why can’t I just make the right choices? Will we ever be the same? Will we ever be the old us? I’m afraid we won’t. What will happen at the end of the month? I will lose you, Over something completely stupid. I will lose you because of my actions. No matter how much you say,
“Don’t worry babe, You won’t”
There is always something telling me,
You will lose her.
No matter how much I make you happy, or make you smile. I’m just gonna lose you on the 29th.
“Don’t worry babe, You won’t.”
Because of my actions, we will never be the same. No more smiles between us, no more laughter...no more love to one another…
I’m nervous…..
I try to enjoy my day, but I can’t when all I have in the back of my head is the fact that I will lose you. I try my hardest to get the old us back. I’m not going to make things better. No matter how hard I try. Fixing everything is the number 1 thing on my itinerary. I can’t. I can’t fix anything. Golly, I’m so stupid. I ruined our happiness, or love, I ruined us….. I’ve done such a stupid thing that
You don’t even want to talk to me, or even be around me…..
No matter how much you say,
“No Matt, you haven’t ruined us. We will be back to the old us soon. I promise.”
There’s something that is telling me you are lying…..
But I don’t know what to believe. Should I believe my heart, and fight for what or who I love? Or just leave, and make her life 200% better?

I don’t know what to do….

On the 28th, the worst experience of my life will come true. I don’t want it to happen. I want us to stay together….but I’m afraid that’s not what you want.

I don’t know how to fix this

Right now, I don’t know anything…..