Once upon-a time, when I was just like you,
I used to smile I used to laugh,
I used to make friends too,

I used to cry and become sad at times and..
I kind of miss it truthfully.
I was strong though, also lively and smart
but then my world changed brutally

But then I wouldn't have gave up either!

My smile lived on, back then... somehow

But that upon-a time has fled like a race.
it went into the clock less world
The time where time that time has now gone.
it seizes to exist anymore

now I'm wearing a mask.
My smile is like a snakes bare fangs
its a lie,  the mask covering my blank face.
I even fooled myself with it recently.
Once.. maybe

My mouth can crack it on, sorta,
my eyes stay measly dim,
it looks so kind of awkward
but I just wont let joy come in..

not that I can feel it ever so much,
its very rare.
even on holidays or
Christmas or my birthday
or at Easter time or,
at advent, or....
not really.

I still
cant say I
have actually
laughed very  hard before,

maybe it was over
a year ago, or more,
since I last enjoyed..
or a quarterly enjoyed even single day.

the only days I do get happy though,
the days I actually feel something,
it either becomes into a bleeding fate,
and it cuts out my heart..
or it either breaks into the world of dark.

A blank silent room with no windows,
no life, no doors... who sought you now?

You don't feel sadness nor anger neither.. just anxiety..
as it slowly drains everything you ever had from you..
Your happiness, sadness, anger, joy, pride.. everything.
then that goes too.

slowly.... slowly... very slowly.. and its gone.

But your time goes fast.