I can tell I’ve held my turn
Now its over, my tears gone to blend
with the mockery of your pride, like diamonds, you treat
them as if the more I shed, the more you’re worth
they collect like a plagued pond, surface thick like film
impenetrable, lonely, desperate for some company, if only

it didn't have to be so lonely, I only
wish that the tables would turn
that I could force you to watch the film
of us, powered by the heart you broke and blend
into the sound of sobs beyond those deserving of your worth
you’d see that when I’d tell you “my treat”

I was begging with bills, imploring you to treat
me like I meant as much, that you only
forgot to care, that I was worth
more than the weight of my wallet, that it was your turn
to prove your love, even though I could never force mine to blend
into your monotone affection, like the boy in that film

we watched in class, you’d compare me to, that film
that lent me the unscripted hint, that you’d treat
me like garbage because you were my treasure, that you’d blend
my admiration into something else and call it clingy, because I was the only
one who loved you so much that in my sleep my head would turn
to the side, so that even in my dreams I could make you the the center of my attention, because your minimum wage love would be worth

more than the fortune of my defeat- inherited by your repudiation, I’d say you were worth
your weight in gold, the revenue of an Oscar winning film
the love any man would have for you if you’d grant them a turn
the gleam of each October child for every bitter-sweet treat
but I’d be tricking you if I said I could only
measure it in that, that there’s no greater value I could blend

That if I poured all those great things together in a blend
They’d surpass the depths of your beautiful rejection, the magical worth
of your rare attraction, your vacant reaction to the putrid stench of only
one more heart murdered by your delicate seduction, how you’d film
your abduction to fill the void by your consumption of our inevitable destruction, how you treat
it like a comedy molded to the cast of your dark humor, a pleasing surprise at every turn

Our seldom cries in hopes you’ll re-turn to our anxious embrace, when your whisper would blend
our thoughts and emotions, natural logic replaced by the desire to treat you like a queen whose worth
out lived my self-esteem, whose reign over my emotions you’d captivate like a film to watch over and over as I drown in the lonely of the hope that you’ll only love me again if you ever did, if only