I am forlorn and unloved
I wonder not of life itself, but of the life after the mistakes have been made and the final breath has been taken
I hear the raging infernos in the depths below cry out my name
I see infinite insanity between the cracks and cuts in my atypical and suffering soul, and neurotic terror around every dark corner and in every bottomless pit in my psyche
I want only to escape myself, for I am my own utmost enemy and my own excruciating misery
I am forlorn and unloved
I pretend that there is yet hope to be found, that there is still a way to escape, only to find myself lost inside the labyrinth that is my emotions, not able to see even a faint glint of light in the suffocating and menacing darkness
I believe in the imaginary, the fictional devils and beasts that lurk in the blackness of my thoughts, and in the women who have been my only faith and joy in this punishing world
I touch the hearts of extraordinary goddesses, only to have them be thieved from me in the bleak of night by the unpleasant monstrosity that is my actuality
I feel the demon named psychosis's warm breath on my ear as he whispers, steadily and wickedly
I worry that perhaps I will surrender to all of the madness around me that follows my steps and hides in my shadow
I cry at the tombstones, mourning for the losses of those I shall not forget and those who still own my heart and devotion
I am forlorn and unloved
I understand the endless crimson dripping from the lips of God Himself, as he too leaves me alone in this realm of the living like so many others before Him, condemning me to eternally drown in sorrow alone
I say what others do not even know to think; I speak of the hell and shadows in which I have seen with my own dismal eyes
I dream of a life filled with ecstasy and a beautiful goddess of my own to share my elation with, but only receive more agony in return for my hopes
I am forlorn and unloved