Angry, I can’t tell why.
All I know, is that I keep asking why you had to die.
I’m depressed, welcome back my friend.
I’ve always known there is no end.
Sometimes it’s easier to just feel desolate,
But depression is my friend, who cares if I throw a fit.
It’s always there, waiting for me to come back,
Creeping in the shadows, hiding in the black.
Lurking in the corners, waiting with arms open wide.
Doesn’t matter where I go, I cannot hide.
I can’t run, I can’t run.
I can’t get away, I can’t run!
It finds me, it takes me.
It takes me in and tells me what to be.
Clenched fists, and a hole in my heart.
Dear depression, you have been there since the start.
You never let me down, you always showed.
You never cared at all if I glowed.
You are okay with me being down, it’s your fault.
But when things go good, you bring them to a halt.
Why, why do you want me so bad?
Does watching me suffer make you glad?
Did I seriously ruin me just with thoughts?
Did I really? How did this happen?
I was okay, I felt fine, but now I took you in,
I welcome you, even your evil grin.
You took me by the hand,
Your hurried my happiness in the sand.
You watched it get destroyed by the rising tide,
You said life was hard, then you took me for a ride.
You led me into the dark, into the chaos.
You led me to this Hell!
It’s your fault, you did this!
You gave me torture, you promised bliss!
You said I was okay, but you brought me down!
Why depression, why did you do this?
You were my only friend, something always there,
But you make me angry, I want to rip out my hair!
I want to go home, escape the world!
I want to be alone!
She is at home, and I don’t want to talk.
I don’t want her to know, this is my silent walk.
Whether you let me down or not, I hate you!
You were an illusion, you were too good to be true!
You pretended to be an escape, but it was a trap.
I thought a good thing had fallen in my lap.
You brought me to this darkness, this abyss.
You weren’t depression at all, but you bore a sweet kiss.
You took away the pain, you drowned out my world…
But now you demand that my words are never heard.
You tried to trash my future, take my life!
How could I ever grow old, ever escape this strife.
You took me at my worse, and dragged me further down!
You pulled me into the dirt until my world was brown.
I walked the streets, I lived for night.
I didn’t care, I didn’t want to fight.
You, sweet addiction, you truly led.
I blamed it on depression, but you were the real start.
You brought me to this, you brought me to this road.
When I asked for help, you were what showed.
But you didn’t help, things became so much worse,
Thanks to you, I tried to put myself in a hearse.
You told me to give up!
You said it was over!
You said no one could love me,
You said I was a disgrace!
You told me I could never change,
That I needed to accept this cursed fate!
But your lies were nothing, nothing but bait!
You tried to pull me in again, but I said no!
I will beat this, and have something to show.
I can make a future,
I can make myself into something!
With the wind at my back, and the road ahead,
I will not sleep until I have made my bed.
I will lie in it when I have decided,
But right now, I have decided I can pack it up anytime.
You can’t force me to accept what I have done,
I can make up for it, unlike some!
I am trying, I try so hard.
I try to the point that my life breaks into shards.
Shattered walls of glass,
Shattered pieces to make up my past.
But I sought release, I sought a better way…
And I found it, I’m still here!
But where are you? Where are you, drugs?
Why aren’t you doing well?
Whats wrong, old friend?
Now you know what it feels like,
To be left in the sand,
Drowned out by the waves of courage,
The courage to change.
The courage to give hope,
The courage to never be broken again,
The courage to have faith!
The courage to be me.
The courage to get clean!
The courage to grow!
The courage!
The courage!
The courage to stand up,
To stand up and scream!
Addiction, oh sweet addiction,
Never again,
Never again will you have a hold of me!
GOOD BYE FOREVER.
I’ll never need you again.
Three years and proud.
I now have courage for tomorrow.