I hate to smile,
I hate to laugh,
I hate anything that dares,
to bring me joy.
I’m OK, with not being happy.
I try to tell myself.

To smile, is a jab {at me,}
To smile, seems like a duty.
How I dream to truly smile one day.

Happiness, I hate.
Love, I dread ….
What is it about happiness,
that makes people go crazy.

It seems so fake,
A lie I say, a
Fantasy,
that people created;
to hide from the pain.

Embrace the pain,
It is the only way to know you are living,
Hiding behind a smile, a laugh and happiness,
will only make it worse.

Believe me when, I say
I have tried to be happy,
I have tried to smile,
but I always seem to remember that
pain, and misery exist.