Slow Burn | Teen Ink

Slow Burn

April 15, 2011
By Darkchloe14 BRONZE, Memphis, Tennessee
Darkchloe14 BRONZE, Memphis, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be Strong"

The incision—a hallway
The blood running—fire
The black curtain drawn
The sable cloud’s shadow cast over
A smell triggering hysteria
The news spread by sight and nose
The blaze reaching up from beneath
The quiet cacophony, the crumbling roof

The final seconds elongating
The wait for everything and the end
The screaming, the heat—high degree
The silence then becoming her
The girl packed into a corner
The promise ring of flame
The cross bared—heavy
Her courage blown away—just a dust flurry

Fate is blind.
Time is untraceable.
Reality is tainted; and—
Like the sky—it does not break.
Her face is treaded on
Like the dirt of the world;
Grey rivers run
And fall into the rocks.
It’s hard to watch
The slow burning
Of a home she had once found
To be cold as ice.
Now youth is her excuse
Not to die—
A plea for time
To freeze…

The suffocation, the stinging eyes
The reptilian tongues—orange and red—tasting her feet.
The screams choked out unheard
The pain in high degree
The promise ring suddenly a cloak
The world saturated in its demonic hue
The flesh blackened to ash and bone
The sin death commits by forfeiting haste

The author's comments:
This and "To Freeze" are two versions of the same poem. Feel free to let me know which one is best.

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This article has 6 comments.

nirvana said...
on Sep. 27 2011 at 3:28 pm
Your vision for poetry is riveting.  I think you may have adopted some of your father's style. I am proud that you will go farther with creative writing than me.  I am proud of you.

love said...
on Sep. 2 2011 at 11:04 pm
jessca i agree with sheryl it does sound like rachel.

on Sep. 2 2011 at 4:28 pm
Lover_that_Hates DIAMOND, Reynolds, Georgia
76 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"She was fascinated with words. To her words were things of beauty, each like a magical powder or potion that could be combinded with other words to create powerful spells." From: Lighting(By: Dean Koontz)

this is great! the imagery is very impressive i felt like i was there burning myself haha This is wonderful work :)

Tami said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 5:29 pm
Amazing! Are you ready to write that book and get it published? What about a screen play?

on Aug. 29 2011 at 2:19 pm
Darkchloe14 BRONZE, Memphis, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be Strong"

Thank you so much for reading. And believe me when I say that your comment has given me encouragement. I'll be sure to read your work as well.


on Aug. 27 2011 at 6:43 pm
xBaByGiRrL22x PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
22 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The goal isn't to live forever, but create something that will."
"If you wanna go, baby let's go; if you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll.''
"No one ever said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it." <3

OMG. You cretainly don't sound like you're new. You are definetely a professional writer. The entire time I was reading, I felt a heavy, darkness in my stomach. Haha, I don't even know. I could feel the true power in this piece. That was amazing