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Stained
The fence that once burdened my views burdens my motive.
No longer,
Sight: bright and fresh,
But dismal and stained.
Sight: people once praised, now miss.
I miss it too.
A wild flame can't handle restrictions.
It’s coarse and rigid.
Once tamed, it won’t be for long.
Anger stains deeper than joy.
Joy,
Once, smiling face and bright heart,
Now stained vision, and rigid thought.
The root of misery, the root of rigidity,
Is solitude, is loneliness, is fear.
Fear of being vulnerable, of connecting.
Fear of hurting.
Better to be lonely, than of wrong company.
Such as myself.
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This piece talks about the challenge of trying to connect with people or wanting to build relationships while you feel like you are at your worst self. I especially relate to the idea of a wild flame due to my unpredictability within a relationship whether romantic or platonic. I can be completely open and give full attention to the relationship at one moment, and then the next shut the relationship out completely. As I end high school I reflect on my time in school. I realize that now I have lost a lot of my friends, and this piece is in a way is an explanation why. It's something I need to work on, and something I will get better at. I just needed to acknowledge it first, and that was through this piece.