What scares you?

What scares me much is not what you’d normally expect: 

monsters, guns, drowning, dying,

abandonment, loneliness, brutality. 

All these things are fine by me. 

They are nothing compared to the thing that scares me much. 

I walk on eggshells whenever I'm around it. 

I am constantly afraid I'll upset it. 

One mistake and it's over. 

Fear consumes me like a child in darkness

My heart drops to the ground. 

It spotted me. 

My feet are cemented,

My mind begs me to run

But my body refuses

I’m frozen

My eyes searched the room for an escape 

But there wasn't one

I squeeze my eyes shut

Maybe if I can't see it 

It will go away

But it doesn't

Of course it doesn't

I feel my eyes start to fill with tears

I know I must be brave

But that is so hard to do

When my first instinct is to run

I know i'll never be enough

You don't have to repeat it

I know i'll never be what you want me to be

You don't need to scream it

I know you think there's something wrong with me

And i'm trying so hard to impress you

But you still come barging in

With that look i've come to know so well

No, what scares me much isn't 

monsters, guns, drowning, dying,

 abandonment, loneliness, brutality. 

What scares me much

Is all these things together

Because their all you

And I sigh to myself

Knowing things will never change.