If you play me then you

Play yourself.

While being close to me is a difficult

Task, some choose to overcome it.

Closed off

Always smiling

Never showing any emotion, well

Other than contempt.

The one in the background, the one

People know of, but don’t know well,

The one that does well in

School, not well enough to be seen.

The fourth person people come to for help,

Sitting in front of the class, well

Now sitting in front of a screen.

Takes neat notes,

Get’s B’s in school, while being

Distracted by the bees out the window,

The orchestra student, just doing

What I’m told, trying to hold

Up to the expectations.

Three close friends,

Two I’m open with,

Only one that is open with me.

Video games, meeting online friends,

Wishing making friends was that easy in person.

I try, to

Be a good student,

Make my parents proud,

Friends proud,

To hold up to the high standards, I

Have held for the past years.

School piling up, in the 

Organized mess that is my workspace.

I’m 17.

I dislike mornings,

I have bad days,

I’m still a kid,

Just trying to figure

Out life as I go.

“You have time.” Is

What I’ve always been told.

So why does it feel

Like I’m on a constant timer.

Getting ready for college,

Not knowing what to do,

Feeling my throat tighten and

My jaw clench at the thought of

Just growing up.

If you play me then you

Play yourself.

Well I guess that the joke is on me,

Since the only one who has to play

Me, in this game of life,

Is myself.