I've got this beating-
it lingers in my ears
and freezes in my veins.
It keeps me alive.

But it doesn't live in my heart.

It's the optimistic;
the lies they feed me,
the pills,
the happy feeling...
The room spins and I spiral under
into this emotionless pit
where time is gone and I lose all self control.

They don't know me, but they
control every aspect of my life.
I'M NOT A CHILD
yet my sluggish thoughts and
minimal movements pose me as
a threat to society.
I am not a threat.
Not a threat.

I long for the happy feeling.
It's like...floating on air
or dancing in a dream.
The mind leaves the body completely
and...you float.

Will I come out of this?
Will I regain the feeling
of my beating heart?
Will I ever resurface from this
insanity...?