Dylan Must Die | Teen Ink

Dylan Must Die

January 5, 2010
By Shambler92 PLATINUM, Buenos Aires, Other
Shambler92 PLATINUM, Buenos Aires, Other
37 articles 0 photos 65 comments

If the existence of God was to be affirmed and confirmed, its name and divinity, that is the whole of its Being, should lie solely on the person of Bob Dylan.
Perfection, they say, is earthly unachievable, for philosophically nothing superior can come out of the inferior, that is, perfection cannot be born from imperfection. God, the Christian God, is perfect, which is, immortal and eternal, and we human beings are imperfect. But this conception is to be omitted, for perfection and imperfection are terminologies applied only on the belief of a Perfect Superior Being, only within the scope of this immense divinity can we consider ourselves imperfect and Him perfect. Walt Whitman on Song of Myself writes:
There was never any more inception than there is now,
Nor any more youth or age than there is now,
And will never be any more perfection than there is now,
Nor any more heaven or hell than there is now.
So perfection is a constant state, an ongoing present, the everlasting extension of the Now.

The premise to affirm the divinity of Bob Dylan is as debatable as that of Jesus. For, how can something perfect be born from something imperfect? Medieval puzzles to be sorted or to be left to just that vain matter of faith which justifies anything. Well, if Jesus can be called the son of God by mere prophesy, why can’t Bob Dylan be God himself unknowingly? I mean, Bob Dylan’s work and teachings are vaster or likewise similar in scope to those of Jesus Christ or Buddha. And if we develop this premise under the constant extension of the Present, we could affirm that right now Bob Dylan is God, and that Jesus was the son of God as well. For, if nothing will ever be as perfect as it is now and Bob Dylan is indeed the epitome of Mankind and Nature’s paragon, then he is to be acclaimed as a Superior Being, thus he is to be given the title of God.
Shelley on The Necessity of Atheism claims: “There Is No God. This negation must be understood solely to affect a creative Deity. The hypothesis of a pervading Spirit co-eternal with the universe remains unshaken.” Bob Dylan is the Spirit Percy speaks of, God as an invention of religions is to be denied, but the existence of a Superior Entity is to remain. So, even if we are to refuse to give Him the name of God, we are to consider him a Superior Being beyond space and beyond time. Voltaire said as well that “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him” And this invention, if it is to be so, is to be put on the sacred name of Bob Dylan.

But, if Bob Dylan is indeed God, or a Superior Being, should we praise him? No, we should ignore his divinity and his immense complexions, just like the Grand Inquisitor did with Jesus on his return, for if he were acclaimed as God himself, or the son of God or what have you, the world would not stand such revelation and chaos would be unwound.
So, if everyone knows that Dylan is God but cannot believe in such a thing and must pretend not to know and ignore his divinity, then how can this be done? How can the world ignore the true Essence and Nature of God on earth and maintain their lives unchanged, as if anything had happened, how can they continue to develop and maintain their futile ceremonies and beliefs? How can the world be prevented from such a Truth?
Well, the only discernible solution to this dilemma would be to kill Bob Dylan.

The author's comments:
This is a joke, so don't go all crazy and logical on it.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Feb. 23 2010 at 4:27 pm
the_Horsegirl SILVER, Minneapolis, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
People need dreams, there's as much nourishment in 'em as food.
--Dorothy Gilman

If there is such a thing as truth, it is as intricate and hidden as a crown of feathers.
--Isaac Bashevis Singer

Very funny and clever. But I think you might have a little too much time on your hands...just kidding! You're a really good writer!

on Feb. 13 2010 at 10:48 am
Brrrreeeeeeeeee SILVER, Kalmazoo, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
when i say im a christan im not shouting that im strong,im whispering that im weak and need his strength.;your the best and nothing less!!