Ways Social Media Makes You a Better Person | TeenInk

Ways Social Media Makes You a Better Person

September 14, 2015
By Ianultraman BRONZE, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
Ianultraman BRONZE, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive" - Elbert Hubbard

Ever wonder how social media commitment can help you? Since your attention span is short because of your habit of scrolling through 1 sentence posts, hashtags, and selfies, let’s make it easy to read. Wait no longer! Here are the 5 ways social media makes you a better person.


1.) It allows you to communicate honestly with people without needing to see them in person.


Chatting online with my mom and brother is fantastic because now I’m not forced to walk to a dining table, and sit down and have a “pleasant” conversation with them anymore.


Also, did you know that liars make less eye contact? Now that chatting exists, people get to become more honest with each other. Like, “ur nwest selfie made u look fat. ur welcum”. Honesty is the best policy.

2.) You can be informed of important events and news


Sometimes, you would miss many important events if it weren’t for social media, like the knife song challenge. Singing and stabbing yourself on the hand? It’s a very serious thing- very serious indeed.


Also, how would I have known that my friend Bill was at his Uncle’s friend’s wedding? It looked amazing, with the men drunk and the funny video where the groom collapses during the dance… and I wouldn’t have known about it if I hadn’t been on social media.

3.) Going on social media is time management

According to a research from the Direct Line Insurance, seven hours (or more precisely, 6 hours and 59 minutes) of free time is need for a perfect work/life balance. How should you efficiently spend your free time? Check social media. Social media is, of course, efficient because of the reasons listed above and below, and of how addicting- I mean fun it is. Take a break from work. Right now people spend 1.72 hours everyday on social media- let's set goals and bump it up to 6 hours and 59 minutes.


Spend 1 hour reading posts. Spend 1 hour liking posts/adding hate comments. Spend an hour posting posts. Spend another checking posts again. Another hour to add likes/put hate comments. Put more posts. Commit another hour to find new people to follow.

4. It boosts one’s confidence


There is a lot of motivation that happens inside social media too. One especially good example is the Oxford Dictionary's 2013 word of the year- the “selfie”. Some people claim that it’s making us raise a nation of narcissists, but it’s actually for self-confidence. They are useful because 1 out of 5 people will post a nice comment. We intend to show the beautiful landscape surrounding us, but take up the picture space with our faces instead.

“Guys! Check out that barbecue grill that photobombed my selfie!”


Getting more likes can encourage people to be happier as well. The secret to getting more likes? Cats and sob stories. Post any sob story online (preferably in photo form) and you’ve got popularity. Post any cat video, people will treat you like the cat god. It’s that simple.


5.) Social media expands one’s knowledge

Social media is proven to make you smarter. You learn to persevere, from the start, when you see that posting your first few photos don’t get as many likes as you would’ve wanted to. You learn to know which pages have the crazy religious people, which pages have the crazy political people and where all the perverts go.


But most importantly, you get to expand your vocabulary. For instance, on Facebook you can find many words constantly streaming towards you (even though 75% of posts are photos…). Here, you can learn a multitude of cuss words, and mostly learn to talk text talk quickly (isnt dat gr8?)! In fact, it’s so versatile, that it should be considered a second language. Studies show that learning another language increases the size of our brains. We’ll all have big heads!

The author's comments:

For all those who are confused, keep in mind that this is a satire. However, it should be quite obvious if you read it, so there is no need for me to go screaming "It's a satire everyone! Look how original I am! Woohoo! I'm so freaking cool..." etc.


Thanks for reading this, and if you read the article, thanks for reading that also. See you!



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This article has 1 comment.

Cam_is_Away said...
on Sep. 16 2015 at 5:30 pm
Cam_is_Away, Non, California
0 articles 0 photos 116 comments
This is fantastic. And that's it.