Hi Hope | Teen Ink

Hi Hope

November 8, 2011
By MonkeYBree BRONZE, Middleton, Wisconsin
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MonkeYBree BRONZE, Middleton, Wisconsin
3 articles 1 photo 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Never ruin an apology with an excuse'


Author's note: I wrote this story based off what happened to a few friends of mine and the hurt they felt.

As a soft gust of wind blew past, she shut her eyes and breathed in deeply, completely surrounded by peace and serenity. Her silky dark brown hair blew back, a strand catching on her nose. Slightly startled she opened her eyes to remove it, and for the first time noticed the beauty of the park. Flowers danced in the wind, birds chirped from the trees. Leaning back down on the beautiful quilt that her and her mother just finished, she looked up in amazement. Encircling her were massive white clouds swimming in the bluest of blue skies. Hearing a melodious voice in the distances, she got up and slowly wandered in the direction. A tall hour-glass shape steadily appeared and opened up her arms. Clearly meant for Annalynn's body only, she ran to her mother and was tenderly embraced in her loving bosom.
“My Anna, I will always love you. I will always be there for you.”

Suddenly jerking away from her mother, she threw her head back and screamed. Now wide awake panting and looking wildly around, Annalynn tossed her blanket to the side and saw someone else's body. Darkness swept over her, immediately sending her back down to her pillow in grief and anger. This was her body, sore and bruised. No question about it, the result of last nights escapade with her father. The soothing, happy memoir of her mother refreshed in her mind, hope. Someday she will be saved from this fiery hell. Someday she will see her mother again. Even though she knew these things will never happen, it's what kept her alive everyday.
“And besides, I need to be here for my brother. My mom would want it that way.”
“Annalynn who are you talking to? You better be ready in 5 min, or your walking. Trying to make me late for work.” I could hear him mumbling. Familiar with these words, our routine after those bad, sleepless nights.
“Yes, sir, sorry. ”
I can't stand how thin our walls are, I have no privacy.


































“Brenda I told you I'll help. I have just been very busy at home so I need more time. But don't worry I'll help you get it done. I promise!”
“Thanks so much. Your the coolest girl in the school. Byeeee!”
Busy at home... I come up with some pretty lame excuses! Why does she even need my help?
This tutoring is for C- grades or worse, I don't have the patience to deal with preppy snobs. Might as well pay me and call it charity. Ughh why am I being like this, Brenda has been my friend for years and not once has she judged me. Well, not that she knows about my dad, I mean I can't embarrass or get him in trouble by telling people about it. Sometimes I wish I just had someone to talk too..Oh no, its Mrs. Mettle. I don't know how well my sore body will handle one of her killer hugs.
“Annalynn, its so nice to see you.”
OUCH
“Its nice to see you too. Brenda just talked to me about the science report and we have some pretty good ideas for the project. Hows Daniel's essay coming?”
“Lets just say he would be a very smart boy if he could just get his head out of the clouds! But I'm sure he will get at least a B-. You haven't been yourself today, is something wrong? If so you know you can talk to me anytime. Why don't you go on home for now and I'll see you Monday bright and early.”
“Ok, thanks. See ya.” Sure go home early, what would I do there? I could start on dinner, hopefully that will put my dad in a good mood. The house also needs a good cleaning and I should pick some flowers on the way home, our house really needs some lightening up. Just cause we live in the ghetto doesn't mean we're dirty animals. I'm starting to sound like my mom. One thing she couldn't stand was a nasty house. When I would come home from school there she would be on her hands and knees scrubbing the floors. I wish so badly to be like her, I feel like I'm more of a disappointment to her everyday. Couldn't I just once make my dad happy. Or just one time can I protect my brother from getting hit. I need to stop being so selfish, I know that if I gave him more of my body he would leave my brother alone. But it's not like I sit back and watch him get it, hence the swollen eyes that I attempt to cover with pounds of makeup that probably leave me looking like a whore.
When Annalynn arrived at home the door was open, yet no one was home. She was relived and let out a thick, sharp sigh. She wasn't sure what time her dad would be home, but whenever that was, she wanted to be in her room, door locked. He normally gets home after a few rounds at the bar, which means 9 or 10. So she could scrub the whole house and cook and then maybe even have some time to herself to soak in the tub. The first thing to do was to change out of her school clothes. While walking up the steps to her sanctuary she thought about what she could wear. Not that this is her routine, but today she was really craving to be as much like her mother as possible. In the back of her closet she found her mothers old bandana. All the memories tied into this piece of cloth. When she was younger, her mother would go outside with her and make up games for them to play together. Her favorite game was topple. Her mother would tie the bandana over Annalynn's eyes, swoop her up in her arms and they would spin around and around till they toppled to the ground with great ecstasy. Annalynn, overcome with grief, fell to the floor clutching the bandana to her chest. Life was so easy then and enjoyable. No worries. Now all she thinks about is worries, will she be raped tonight, or will her 8 year old brother be punched and thrown across the room? For the first time in years, she cried. She wept and howled. Letting out all her built up resentment and woes, that for 9 years now have left her hardened and unnatural. The thought still seemed so unusual, that her mother died 9 years ago. She had just turned 8 and understood what was going on. Not only was her mother dead but she also lost her virginity to her father. This, she didn't understand nor did she think it was fair, but she didn't want to blame her father, he was hurting deeply. So for a few years she blamed her brother for their mothers death and their fathers anger. She hated her own brother. A dear friend though convinced her that it wasn't his fault. Her mom had, had health problems for a long time and the doctor even told her that it might not be a good idea to have another child, but it was always her dream to have two kids, one for each hand.


Annalynn was still crying when her brother quietly entered the dimly lit closet and wrapped his little arms around his sister. There they sat arm in arm comforting one another. They haven't had time to be alone in years, and they cherished each second. Realizing what time it was, Annalynn and Alex set out to clean and cook for their father. Starting with the basement and working their way up. For some strange reason the two kids actually felt happy and at peace doing this work, they never wanted it to end.
“ Sissy, who's going to clean Daddy's room?”
“That's a great question and I have an idea. We have Dad's and your room left, so why don't you do your room, I'll clean Dad's.”
“O.K. Then we can see who can clean the fastest. I know I can clean really fast, so I'll give you a head start! ”
Off they went. Alex to shove all his toys under his bed, and Annalynn to organize her fathers papers and clothes that clutter the dull wooden floors. Besides those nights that she sleeps with her father, she hasn't been in this room since her mother died. She thought that she would have terrible thoughts and would hate being in there, yet she enjoyed it. The room had a very antique look to it, which she has always been fond of. She took notice of the curved doorway and the arched, maple colored bed frame that had a consistent pattern of intrigued designs and shapes. Her grandfather made this for her mom and dad when they married 27 years ago. Annalynn and her bother were both born in this bed and nursed when sick in this bed. All the beautiful memories and all the sick sadistic memories left her confused. Thinking about the memories gave her something to do, and before she knew it, the room was sparkling clean. The paper and clothes all put away, the furniture dusted and reorganized, she knew her father would be happy.

After admiring her work and making sure Alex was occupied, she set off to take her hot bath. Finally she would have time to relax and figure out the rest of her life.
















“Who went in my room?”
Annalynn fell asleep and was rudely awaken by her father shouting. She didn't know what to do besides that she wanted to dry off and put clothes on. Yet there was no time.. He came barging into the bathroom with a face as red as peppers, demanding an answer.
“Um I did sir.. I wanted to surprise you by cleaning and cooking dinner. I'm truly sorry, what did I do wrong, I thought you would be happy. “
“I'll tell you this Missy, If you EVER go in my room again, uninvited, I'll make sure you remember it for the rest of your life. Same with that brother of yours. GOT IT?!”
“Yes sir,.. I'm sorry.” He slammed the door and for the second time today, uttered curses that are unfit for anyone's ears.
Feelings of worthlessness and disgust flooded over her, making her forget the almost beautiful day she had.
She head a whimper from downstairs and knew that Alex had gotten the message.
Why didn't he want us in his room? Was he hiding something? Does he do drugs? Did he kill somebody? I would love to know what his is thinking right now. Maybe it has something to do with all those papers. I should have read some of them. What if there's something that could affect my life, make me and my brother happier. I need to get back in there.
So Annalynn spent most of the night figuring out a plan to sneak back into her fathers room. Although he only works two hours on Saturday morning he will be gone long past 1. Probably at more clubs or with a chic. Alex will be at his friends house so I will have time to look without being disturbed. Annalynn had a feeling that she hasn't had in years, she was actually excited for tomorrow and what she will find.

















After her routine of looking out the window, thinking about her mother, she went downstairs to eat. Her dad must have made a nice profit off of the drugs to have bought not only his liquor but also food to fill the normally empty fridge. Thankful for something different than Captain Squares, she made eggs and bacon. With her plate licked clean she headed upstairs to her fathers room. He is smarter than she thought, his door was locked.

There has to be a key somewhere!
She remembered the keys box that was stored in the basement, her father didn't think this out to well. Finally coming upon the right key she opened the door and was shocked that it was complete disaster, as if a tornado stormed through. Within in one night he was able to accomplish this?? She made a mental list that the first thing to check was the papers, any sign of drugs or anything else, if these failed, what would cause her father to act so protective? Careful to put the papers exactly where she found them, which made the search take longer, but she came across a document that immediately caught her attention. After reading it, and then rereading it, she was able to put the pieces together. Apparently her father has been convicted of several crimes including, molestation and raping of his niece, drug dealing and theft. This next point made a lot of sense. After her mother died he constantly told her to never tell a soul and to not mention who she lived with. This is because by court order, if anything was to happen to my mom, we were to live with my godmother. Even she doesn’t know my mom died, she probably just thinks that father moved us away and she was being a submissive wife by not communicating. Such deceit! folding up the paper she put it in her bra. Her mother always told her to put things in there that she loved so it would be close to her heart. As of the moment she loved this paper, it meant her and her brothers relief.

I need to show this to someone. I don't know where any of my family lives though. Ms. Mettle! Her and my mom were friends, maybe she would know where my Godmother lives! I'll call her right now and see if she can take me and Alex to her house tonight. I'll pack our stuff and...
“You are in so much trouble now,, I done told you to never, EVER come in her again. Get in your room, get in there. I want clothes off. NOW!”
“ No please.. I'm sorry I just wanted to see the picture of mother. PLEASE. I'm sorry”
“I don't want to hear excuses, imma bout to tear your butt up. Get in there!” Grabbing her by her neck, he threw Annalynn out of his room. She heard the door slam, her fathers curses and looked into the mirror at her tear stained face, her trembling body and knew that this was going to be the longest night of her life. Full of screams, moans, pleading and swearing. She was wrong though, her father didn't rape her, but instead he tied her down by wrist and ankles, stood over her and mercilessly beat her first with a belt and then a broom. Finally leaving her unconscious, he stared down at his daughters limp body, suddenly it was actually his wife's body on the ground. He was now reliving her death, the uncontrollable pain in his chest, it felt like his heart was yelling to get out. Annalynn's voice and her mothers voice swarm around in his head, repeatedly asking 'why'. With their moans and wails still echoing, he pounded his fist to his chest and wept.

Her dreams were flooded with blood, screams and banging. When finally, Annalynn woke up, she was on her bed and felt completely vulnerable. Her body ached head to toe and was covered in snake like bruises that were black and purple. The blood became encrusted in between her thighs and the smell was putrid. Too strong to be just from her blood, her nose lead her to the floor of her bed. There he was, curled up and dead. She noticed a note on the side of the bed and slowly got up to retrieve it. Instantly attacked by a migraine, yet determined to get the note. Finally, a few minutes later, she realized it was a suicide note. Her father killed himself yet not right away. He shot his stomach, the contents spilled out. He died a slow agonizing death. For the second day in a row she cried, grieved and was doubled over with pain. Her tormentor, her abuser was finally gone, you'd think she would be happy. She just thought of her father as some one that was drowning in pain, she wanted him to get help, not to die.

















“OPEN UP, POLICE”
For the last time she heard men pounding up the dull wooden stairs. They must have heard the gunshots. They weren't there to hurt her but she was still frightened. She remembers bright flashing lights, shiny badges and her mothers voice telling her that it was going to be o.k and that's the last of what she remembers. The life changing events afterwords were a blur.

Ms. Mettle came to see Annalynn in the hospital and informed her of the recent goings.
After the police found her and her father, they took them to the hospital to be tested. It was confirmed that he was dead and arrangements were made for his burial. The police investigated her room and found the document stating that they were not to live with their father. Soon afterwords, the Godmother was contacted and without question agreed to take the two emotionally and physically abused kids under her wings.
















Although their Godmother lived a few hours away, they continued to see Ms. Mettle's on a regular bases and thanked her each time for her help and love. Annalynn still got to help those suffering with their grades at a new high school, her brother got to join the boys soccer team. Still living happily with their Godmother, they look forward to the future, as only time can heal wounds.



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