Wholesome Again | Teen Ink

Wholesome Again

September 8, 2011
By Lucy4himnotu ELITE, Richardson, Texas
Lucy4himnotu ELITE, Richardson, Texas
148 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am Happy to The Point of Fear" -Ralph Waldo Emmerson

I dug myself a hole. It was a beautiful hole, for I was intending to plant a magnificent seed in it. It would blossom into a tree... a flowering tree that would bring me beauty and shade and fruit after years of nurturing. I made it large, putting much time and effort into its construction. The rain fell and slid its mud back into the hole, but I dug it out once more. The ice came and froze it over, but i shattered the ice and continued on. Until one day, I slipped. I fell into the hole... and I could not get out.
Time passed, and I wollowed. I wondered how I would ever get out, how I would ever live again... I nearly decided I would rather stay... but then the sun came out. night had passed, and the sun shone on me. It was warm in my hole, and I wanted so badly to feel the grass between my toes... So i climbed.
I worked and worked until my head rose above the ground. I shook with the effort and the struggle, but i made it out into the sun. I danced in the grass and smiled at the sun... Until evening brough great storms. The thunder clapped and screeched at me. The lightning stung my eyes, and the violent storm pushed me backwards. I stumbled against it, fighting for my freedom... but the storm was much stronger than i. It pushed me back into my hole... leaving me to stay yet another night in misery.
I heard a Voice from the ground above me, and listened.
"Stay." It told me. "You deserve this punishment. You dug this whole for yourself, not for the tree. You chose to do this, and now you will stay. You are mine, and I will keep you here until you have blossomed. You are my tree." As the voice spoke, dirt flew at me from above. Landing on my face, and making its way into my eyes and mouth.
Days passes and I stayed. Each night The Voice came back, "Look at you, You smile up to me and yet you are filthy." The dirt flew at me again. "You are not blossoming. What are you? you disgust me. You are not the object which I thought you were. You are useless. maybe tomorrow you will be better to look at."
As the nights came and went, the dirt piled up on top of me. I thought I would be doomed to die... I grew to agree with the voice... i was filthy...
One night, after The Voice had gone, The Wind blew over me. It passed over me, only to return a moment later. It looked at me with knowing eyes and asked, "Why do you sit there, allowing yourself to die?"
"Because.." I whispered. "I am worthless... don't you know?"
Anger flashed in The Winds eyes, "I, the wind, am wisest of all. I know what is and is not worthless. You may not be a tree which can blossom, but you are your own flower. You are unable to live underground the way in which a tree thrives. You need light! You need love! And it awaits you here... You are far from worthless, child... look at you..." The Wind came into the whole, and blew the dirt off of me. The gust of its breath was cold and fresh. It left me clean and beautiful. "You" said The Wind, "deserve far more than this."
Then the The Wind left me, standing clean and beautiful in a hole of mud and worms. I looked at the dirt which The Voice had spread over me. It was dirt not for growing, but for burying... There was no intent of growth in The Voice's actions. "I will not stay here."
I stood atop the mound of dirt and stomped it down beneathe my feet. When i had finished, i looked and saw that the ground was level with my eyesight. The dirt had filled the whole.
When The Voice came back that night it said to me, "What have you done to yourself?! Who are you? this is not who you are. you disgust me. have you no pride? You coward, hiding behind a mask so gross as this, take it off! You filthy weed. You choke me, you cause me to writhe, get out of my sight. Bury yourself in the dirt that you think is beneath you, and yet it surrounds you. it is you."
I argued with The Voice, telling it that I am worth more than the dirt. It spat piles of dirt at me. The dirt rained down like a flood, and I, in my fury, stomped the ground. Each night i did this. Each night the dirt would fly, and the ground would build. and I would get closer to the grass, the flowers... The Wind.
Until one day, I climbed out. I danced and sang in the sunlight all morning. but The Voice came at noon. I was surprised to find it out so early, and I saw its face for the first time. The face of The Voice was not so sweet as The Voice itself. It's face was twisted and mangled, like the roots of a weed. "GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE YOU DISGUSTING CREATURE. DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF ABOUT WHOM AND WHAT YOU ARE!" The Voice slapped my face, and threw me back into the hole with it's words. The face scared me, and for a moment i nearly obeyed just so it would go away. but The Wind blew by once more. i saw the face of The Wind as well... its eyes were soft and wise, and its face was smooth and wholesome. "Come back, sister... dance with me..." It spoke to me.
"Sister?" I questioned.
"Yes, sister. You are of my kind. Wise and beautiful. You love to dance, and to be of everything. Come back to me... I have missed you..." A tear fell from The Wind and landed on the face of The Voice. The skin bubbled and smeared but The Voice did not notice. I was repulsed by the sight of it, and my breath was caught up in my throat.
The Voice saw me looking at its face and spat at me, "Take your eyes off of me, and look at your own filth!"
"No." I said firmly to it. I stepped forward towards it and looked at its face. "I see your flaws. You do not see mine. Take your own eyes and look at your own filth!" I climbed out of the hole easily as it had been filled over halfway.
I put my foot on the grass and The voice screeched curses at me. I faltered, nearly falling back. The Wind came up and blew softly around me. The sound of the breeze filled my ears so that i could not hear The Voice any longer. I stood tall on the grass and walked strongly over to The Voice. The Wind stopped but stood behind me.
"You have no power over me." I said to it. "Get back." It tried to argue with me but i responded firmly, "You. You are of filth. You are of blackness. Get back from me, and speak to me no more."
The face of The Voice split, and revealed its inner ruin. A seed laid within its mind. It was shriveled and dying. the dirt that lay around it was dry and lacking in nutrients. I spoke one final time. "I will no longer attempt to bring life to you. My seed which I dug this hole for. Take your rightful place, and grow on your own, but i will no longer feed your desire for power."
The body of The Voice crumbled and the seed fell into the hole. The thunder clapped again, and the rain fell. The seed sank below the ground and begand to live again.
As time went on, I danced with my brother The Wind, and the seed grew to be a tree, strong and beautiful, as I had hoped. Only it did not provide me shade. It gave shade to many others, but I no longer needed the shade... I needed only the sun.

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This article has 4 comments.

on Sep. 15 2011 at 2:34 pm
Lucy4himnotu ELITE, Richardson, Texas
148 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am Happy to The Point of Fear" -Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Amen to that :)

on Sep. 15 2011 at 2:28 pm
Meavescrete SILVER, Potomac, Maryland
5 articles 1 photo 90 comments
That's the truth. Some people are lucky, may we be among the lucky ones.

on Sep. 15 2011 at 9:10 am
Lucy4himnotu ELITE, Richardson, Texas
148 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am Happy to The Point of Fear" -Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Thank you, I am so glad you can see what i see in my mind when I write it. 

It is the fight that takes half of us down with it... and some of us are lucky enough to be saved before we give up. 

on Sep. 14 2011 at 10:28 pm
Meavescrete SILVER, Potomac, Maryland
5 articles 1 photo 90 comments
Your writing invokes amazing imagery. It's the battle we all fight. There's always a friend to help you, and  someone who'd bring you down.