Mom, I’m Gay | Teen Ink

Mom, I’m Gay MAG

By Anonymous

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

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This article has 196 comments.

on May. 21 2013 at 2:55 pm
Kregory_James_III BRONZE, Seymour, Missouri
2 articles 3 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like the legend of the Phoenix, all beginnings start with an end."

Great article! i remeber when I told my parents I was gay, it was nerve racking. I admire your courage.

on May. 14 2013 at 11:17 am
YozoraK PLATINUM, Maumelle, Arkansas
21 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life for you has been less than kind/So take a number/Stand in line/We've all been sorry/We've all been hurt/But how we survive/Is what makes us who we are." -'Survive' by Rise Against

I have to say, I really do admire your courage.  Just coming out to your mom like you did took a lot of guts no matter how much you just "blurted" it out.  I wish I could be just like you in coming out to my family.   I'm scared of what their reaction will be despite already being sure of what it will be because of certain comments that have been dropped (my stepfather doesn't like Adam Lambert because of his sexuality, not because of his music, which is wrong; it's statements like that).  I already feel like a disappointment to them, so I've been hiding this for a long time now.   I do really admire you though for sharing such a personal story and I hope you can one day bring a girl friend home! :3

Cozzy said...
on Apr. 18 2013 at 5:43 pm
This is so sweet :) I support gays all the way and I'm glad you and your mom are getting along again.

Jamese BRONZE said...
on Mar. 27 2013 at 12:01 pm
Jamese BRONZE, Litte Rock, Arkansas
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The question may be complicated,but the answer is simple." by Dr. Suess

" What we do in life is insignificant.But it's important that we do it."

i like this piece.It shows that you're not afraid to show you're not afraid to be who you are...Anyone should accept that

on Feb. 19 2013 at 11:48 am
Kayla_Guthrie GOLD, Philpot, Kentucky
11 articles 19 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
every now and then there comes someone so unuaually unique that everyone normal wishes to be unique in the same excat way.
~stedival a character from the book the accidental hero by matt myklucsh
i'm not sure if this word for word correct

i love it how you are willing to share this personal story. i am glad you and your mother worked things out. thank you for sharing a very deep and personal peice. and keep up with that humor of yours, humor can do wonders with tough situations

on Jan. 16 2013 at 2:20 pm
LinkinPark12 PLATINUM, Lincolnshire, Other
45 articles 1 photo 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
Work like you don’t need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching. ¦ I like change - but only when everything stays the same.

This was great. Glad it worked out okay in the end :)

on Dec. 20 2012 at 9:01 pm
amelia.estaire SILVER, Osceola, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I take real people and put them in extraordinary situations." - Robert Cormier

Amazing. and i'm happy things with your mother and you worked out.

Sonza SILVER said...
on Oct. 25 2012 at 10:00 am
Sonza SILVER, Bhubaneswar, Other
5 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away. - P. G. Wodehouse

i really loved the way you expressed such a sensitive issue in such a funny way!!! great work!!!

xxLivxx GOLD said...
on Oct. 6 2012 at 6:43 pm
xxLivxx GOLD, Preston, Other
12 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.”

- Albert Camus

This is so good, i love how you have wrote this , well done! :)

on Oct. 3 2012 at 11:36 am
MarieAntoinette2014 DIAMOND, Scottsburg, Indiana
54 articles 2 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isn't it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones that love us.

It's good you were able to tell your Mom. I'm glad, cause I can guess how scary that can be.

Deliah GOLD said...
on Jul. 7 2012 at 8:25 pm
Deliah GOLD, Narnia, Other
10 articles 0 photos 17 comments
I like your writing style: very light-hearted and it is easy to read. You took a situation that could easily have gotten the better of you and looked on the bright side of things. My favorite line:"Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed!" It's good to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Even though I am straight, I have a learning disability and people have in turn tried to "fix me",even though it is something that can't really be fixed. Yay for celebrating(and accepting) our differences!

on May. 31 2012 at 4:57 pm
BellaPrincipessa SILVER, Green Bay, Wisconsin
5 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love isn't always fireworks. Sometimes love just comes softly.
-Love comes softly by Jannette Oke

Thank you for posting this! It gives me hope that one day that I will have the courage to come out to my mother. Insperational!

on May. 2 2012 at 1:48 am
i_am_so_very_large_and_towering SILVER, Mililani, Hawaii
5 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"

good for you!!!! it takes a lot of courage to do what you did! 5/5 stars for sure:)

on Apr. 10 2012 at 11:44 am
Anonymously_Izzy BRONZE, New York, New York
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it."- Bill Cosby

This was touching, really! You are very brave!

123Sesame said...
on Mar. 16 2012 at 9:09 pm
123Sesame, New York, New York
0 articles 0 photos 36 comments
I probably wouldn't be able to do what you did in your situation. That took courage! Good job!

on Feb. 26 2012 at 9:38 pm
mdoering PLATINUM, Phoenix, Arizona
39 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Sure, I can talk like you, but I choose not to, It's like an art, you know? Picasso had to prove to the world he could paint the right way, before he goes putting both eyes on the side of a face... See if you paint wrong because that's the best you can do, you just a chump. But you do it because you want to? Then you're an artist...You can take that to the grave and dig it up when you need it.”
― Neal Shusterman, Unwind

I really love this. I had a similar experience with my mother. 

on Feb. 26 2012 at 9:17 am
Supriya Ambwani SILVER, Na, Other
8 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This is the best thing I've read for a very long time!

on Feb. 4 2012 at 6:18 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Good for you! I admire your courage.

knjackson5 said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 5:02 pm
I agree with this completely and couldn't have said it better myself.

Strangergirl said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 4:19 pm
I don't know either. Somrtimes I think I like girls, and sometimes guys. But it's definently not a choice. If it were I'd just choose and get on with my life, things wouldn't be so frustrating.