She, Tears and Smiles. | Teen Ink

She, Tears and Smiles.

January 10, 2013
By Loralie GOLD, Bowmanville, Other
Loralie GOLD, Bowmanville, Other
10 articles 3 photos 0 comments

She used to be one of the most popular girls at school, she was invited to all of the parties and held some of them. In being popular, she found gossiping came along with it and that would be the beginning of what seemed like the end to her.
One day she asked her friend Mariah to hang out, after some idle conversation on the phone, she made her way over to Mariah's house. When she arrived there, Rachel and Megan were also there. They began to get in her face and yell at her for her constant gossiping about the three of them. Although she knew she did infact gossip about the three of them, they had also gossiped about eachother and her. She left, upset and lost, she had just lost three of her bestfriends.
The next day when She went to school, she approached another one of her friend, Casey, who wasn't involved in the fight from the day before. Casey told her she heard what happened and that she was talking about her awell. Casey called her a loser and told her nobody liked her anymore. Little did she realise, this was more true than she ever would have thought.

School got really weird for her, it seemed like no one liked her anymore. She started making friends with a few of the other "outsiders" in class, atleast then she would have someone but the harrasment never stopped. Day by day these girls would make fun of her and her new friends.

One day her and her friend Amber were walking to their friend Hailey's house to hand out her birthday invitations and Megan's older sister spotted her. She cornered her in a tunnel leading under the road and pushed her into the chain-link fence behind her over and over. Finally Megan's sister left after vowing to beat her up the following day after she got out of school.
The next day she couldn't concentrate on anything else but after school, her friend Amber let school early so she had no one but herself, thankfully, the girl never showed but just when she thought she was in the clear, Megan's sister and a couple of her friends caught up to her a few days later, followed her home and spit on her.
After some time, it seemed like things were settling down, sure she wasn't friend's with the "popular" kids anymore, but she had friends and she was happy. Her and her friend Mark went for lunch one day and Mark was curious about what some of the other kids were doing in the bushes. When Mark and her found the kids smoking marajuana and drinking on lunch break, Mark was determined to tell the princpal back at the school.

So once Mark and her got back to the school, they went straight to the principals office, although she didn't feel comfortable being a "rat", she could't leave one of her bestfriends out in the cold. After that, things got a lot worse. She was cornered in the classroom by a boy named John and questioned about the incident. Once it had gotten around that she really did rat the other kids out, she was made fun of numerously and centered out.
All of the hurt from other kid's drove her to cut. She would cut herself almost everyday, hundreds of times, to get all of what she was seeing inside out. She stopped doing school work and slept all the time.
Finally elementary school ended and highschool began. She was still unhappy with herself but she had become more of a punk and it wasn't cool to let it bug her. Life suddenley began to change for her, the people she tried so hard to impress in elementary school, she barley saw anymore, there were so many people at her school, that her old classmates didn't seem to matter anymore.
This gave her a new confidence, she began to make friends, even had a couple of boyfriends, although she did continue to cut and have her demons on the inside, on the outside, she was slowly figuring her life out.
Then she got sick and she was afriad to tell anyone. Her hair became matted and her skin had wounds covering it from scratching, by the time people stop ridiculing her and noticed something was wrong, she had scratched herself raw.
She had to take a couple weeks off of school to recover from her illness. Throughtout this time she lost a lot of weight from not feeling well and after a bad reaction from a guy she was crushing on at school, she decided it was time for a change. She threw away all of her old clothes and bought new one's and changed her outlook from negative to positive.
When she went back to school, new classmates were noticing her, her new weight, her make-up, her clothing choice, some even dared to say she was "preppy." Her new attitude attracted more people to her and she was making a lot of friends and even found her own little group. Not long after that, she entered a serious relationship with an older guy from out of town. Her life had seemed to have brought her down for so many years because of the people around her and then she realised, it wasn't as much the people around her that was preventing change from happening, but her, herself and you know many people ask me to this day who "she" really was and well, she, is me.

The author's comments:
This is a true story about a few years of my life. I had a really hard time and struggled with who I was and who I was going to be. I have always had a weird personality and style where I like to stick out and make other's laugh but the fact that people were bullying me seemed to make me hide from all of that. In highschool I did realise that there was more to life then the few people that bring you down and I actually met a lot of people since then that have in a way, restored my faith in humanity, just by how kind they can be.
Never give up on your dreams and never change for anyone, you are the best thing you can offer then trying to be someone else. Be proud of being different and don't sweat the small stuff because as hard as it is to believe, life is short and the older you get, the quicker it goes by.

Similar Articles


This article has 0 comments.