I Am Not Crazy | Teen Ink

I Am Not Crazy

March 6, 2018
By sigh.emmaline BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
sigh.emmaline BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments


Before I get into this, I just want to clear some things up: I am not crazy. I don't hear voices and I definitely don't hallucinate. I know I am not crazy. I can't be. But there are things that are happening to me that I cannot explain. And here's what they are...


The crisp autumn sky hung overhead as the sunset cast a soft, warm glow through my window. The hot, humid air seeped through the crack of it. I stood there, looking out, blanketed in silence. There was a stillness that creeped about my neighborhood; which was unusual because there always seems to be something going on on Friday nights. But tonight was different. The atmosphere seemed heavy, as if it held secrets. I felt the weight in my chest and shoulders with every breath. Despite the obvious and immediate silence, I could still hear the commute of cars on the freeway not too far from my home. The dogs from a few neighborhoods down barked for reasons unknown. Besides the impossible-to-ignore uncomfortableness in the air, it was presumed to be a normal night.


To try and get my mind off of things I decided to put on a movie. Since Halloween was right around the corner, I figured that The Exorcist was an appropriate film choice. I put the movie on and situated myself in bed. Huddled up under the covers, I tried my hardest to focus on the movie. It worked for a few hours, but the looming tension still persisted. Frustrated with my inability to shake this feeling, I decided to call it a night. I closed my eyes as the sounds from the outside world began to lull me to sleep.


The pangs of fatigue almost won until something strange happened. All at once, every howling dog in the neighborhood fell silent. The dull roar of car engines came to a halt. My eyes shot open. The only light poured into my room from the street lights outside. My eyes struggled to make out the basic features of my room. After a short amount of time that seemed to last an eternity, my eyes adjusted to the pitch black darkness. My body relaxed.


Suddenly, the silence was broken. There was a faint shift of movement that sounded as if it came from outside my window. My heartbeat quickened as my eyes darted around the visible parts of my room. My body was fixed on its side, my back facing the window. I was paralyzed. I stayed quiet to see if I could hear anything else; a breath, a shift, anything. But I didn't hear anything else. The silence became deafening. It was the silence where you could feel the presence of someone else in the room, just no one was talking.


I knew someone else was there. There had to be. They had to be standing outside my window. I held my breath as I prepared to turn over and see who it was. I turned slowly, my heartbeat ringing in my ears as the adrenaline rushed through my body.


What I saw outside my window chilled my bones. A face was pressed up against it. It wasn´t the face of anyone I knew. I’m not even sure if the face belonged to a human. It’s features seemed cartoon-like. It’s devilish smile creeped from ear to ear, and it’s eyes… oh, god, it’s eyes. They were wide, taking up nearly half of its face. There was no color present in them, just a deep, dark abyss. And the worst part is, they were staring directly at me.


I sat there, frozen in the fear that whatever it was, it was going to hurt me. I stared and stared, waiting for it to move. I tried to make out the other features of it. The top of its head was bald, and its body seemed to be slumped over, allowing it to lean and rest its forehead onto my window.


My phone was just a couple feet away from me, hooked up to its charger. If I just moved those couple of feet, I could call the police. I willed myself to start moving my hand to the phone, keeping my eyes locked on the creature at the window.


My hand struggled to find the phone perched on my nightstand. My eyes quickly shifted to finding the device. As soon as I picked up the phone, a loud and sharp tap rang throughout my bedroom, the noise originating from the window.  A gasp escaped my lips. I looked back at my window to see the creature still staring at me, but now its long, bony arm extended upward from its body, its nails digging into the glass. I stood there, crippled in fear, as it dragged its nails downward slowly, accelerating my fear as it descended.


I don’t remember anything after that point. My memory continues to be clouded. All I know now is that whatever that thing is, it comes to visit me every night now. Same spot at my window, same time every night.

I’ve tried relentlessly to get other people to see it, but to no avail. They just look at me like I’m insane and recommend me some help. I’ve been tested for schizophrenia, but the results always come back negative. I’ve talked to countless therapists and counselors. But it won’t go away.


I am not crazy. But this thing comes back every night, and I don’t know what to do.



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