The night air was cool on my face, the breeze ruffling my hair. It was a clear sky so the moon was fully visible. For such a peaceful night, anyone could have been fooled into believing that it would continue that way.

It was late when I came downstairs. About 12.30. But I just could not sleep because if I did then the nightmares would come.

The fresh air cooled me down as stepped onto the cold paving stones that led to our small garden. So small. Too small. My feet made their way down to the grass and I sunk down onto it.

Digging my toes down into the soil felt comforting. Like I was rooting myself into the core of the earth. So that I was more in control. At peace with the world. Almost.

There was a menace in the air however. One I couldn’t ignore. And one that pierced it’s way into my brain, bringing lingering thoughts into clear view. I sighed. So not even the soil, the earth and the cool breeze could stop the horrors. A shiver ran down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold night. My breath came out in little water droplets, that lingered in the air before evaporating in front of my eyes. I automatically rubbed my arm, a motion I made out of habit while feeling particularly vulnerable, and winced as I reached the burn. I could feel more memories rising from the part of my brain that I tried to permanently shut down.

The world span as pictures flashed before my eyes…

Red. Colours have always been important to me, being an art enthusiast. But this colour is one that, to this day, I have not been able to keep out of my thoughts. It has a whole new meaning when you have been through what I have. Red. Before that night, it was just another colour, one that I frequently used. Now it is the one that I relate to everything bad that could ever happen in this evil world.

Red. A wolf howls in the distance. I spin around. Nothing. I could have sworn that I heard her. Her screams. Red. I could not stop the memories flooding back. It was no use. So I gritted my teeth and let them come.

Red. My sisters screams. The hurry, the rush to get out of the door before the house collapsed. The swelteringly hot wall of fire, jumping up and teasing us. Red. My father rushing back to get my sister. Me, running in after him. Mother holding me close to her, screaming at me too stay. Red. Pulling away from her. Pushing father back outside the burning wreck. Running to my injured sister. Red. Red. Dragging her out but not in time. Red. Red. Flames engulf me runs back inside with her life. House collapsing with me in it. Red flames. Red heat. Red fear. Red pain. Red. Red. Red.

My own screams were the last thing I heard before I passed out.

Black.

Black.

Black.