The Protector | Teen Ink

The Protector

June 19, 2012
By FlameSeeker373 SILVER, Richmond, Texas
FlameSeeker373 SILVER, Richmond, Texas
6 articles 3 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"...Magic is just science that we don't understand yet..."


















Arthur C. Clark


Sent
“Well here we are,” my aunt Eva says.

I look up to stare at my new house and was amazed. It was three stories tall with ivy encasing its walls. Rose bushes slightly hid the high, arching windows, while a large rooster weather vane spun in the light breeze. Beautiful trees, just transitioning from Spring to Fall, littered the surrounding land. If I wasn’t dreading the prospect of living here, I might have thought the place was pretty. Trying to be nice to my aunt, I put on a big smile and slouched into the house.


After a long dinner and a tour of the house I was ushered into my ne room by my aunt. Sluggish from an over-full stomach, and nervous of about a first day at school, I really didn’t pay attention to the room. I had only eyes for a large king size bed with plush pillows. I choose a pair of pajamas from my duffel bag and jumped into bed. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard the floorboards outside creak.

Was it Aunt Eva coming to check on me? Could it just me my imagination? Curious and a little scared at the same time, I slipped out of bed and pulled on a sweater. Then, equipped with a flashlight I opened the door and crept out. After exploring a few hallways, I came to one with an open window. The flimsy curtains rippled eerily in the dark.
“Is anyone there?”
“If I show myself do you promise not to tell anyone of my existence,” a quiet voice whispers.

I consider the offer for a moment. Well if this person or thing is a threat I could always run for it, I think.
“I promise.”
“Here I am,” the voice says from behind me.

Whirling around I find myself face to face with a tall boy with shoulder length, dirty blond hair. He must have been around fifteen years-old, judging from the stubble beginning to grow on his face and neck. His emerald green eyes stared calmly in to mine leaving me slightly mesmerized. The boy wasn’t wearing a shirt, only dusty, army green pair of shorts. His bare feet had a worn down as if he had been walking a long way.
“Who are you,” I ask?
“My name is Noah,” he replies.
“Why are you here?”
“I was sent here to protect you.”
“By who,” I almost yell!
“I was sent by the Gods.”


The author's comments:
Like all of my stories this is a cliff hanger.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Oct. 14 2012 at 8:14 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

Um...its interesting, and writen well...but i dont understand why this noah would just give up hiding. "oh you came somewhat close to my hiding spot, you got me!" but that's just me. I think it moves too quickly and you realy must explain farther than "the gods sent me" that cliff hanger is too ubrupt. Dont get me wrong, i love a good cliff hanger. They are suppose to leave a reader thinking and keep a reader on the verge of tears while ripping their hair out over what happens next. Yours is interesting, but a) its so short that i dont realy particularly care about the character b) you don't give me anything to pull my hair out over. Sweet, there are gods sending a dude. What's new. Anyway, good writing. :)

on Jul. 23 2012 at 7:21 pm
KatelynnGilbert0 BRONZE, Palm Desert, California
3 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing holding you back is yourself."

A good beggining of a story, it just needs a little more detail towards the end. Keep up the good work!