February 8, 2011
“James Tyler Sanders, get out here! Now!” A voice shouted, it echoed around the big old house, built nearly six decades ago.
James grimaced, crouching underneath the old bed in the guest room. He sneezed from the dust, collected underneath the old bed. He then clapped a hand over his mouth, wincing. Suddenly, his ankles were grabbed and he was dragged out from under the bed. The seven-year old shouted in alarm, but nobody heard him.
The boy looked at his father, tears in his eyes, he tried to struggle away, but his father’s harsh grip didn’t allow that. His father slammed the back of his hand into the side of the boy’s face. “I’ll teach you not to ignore your father when he calls for you!” He shouted.
James gasped, tears flooding his eyes. He managed to yank his arm away from his father and saw blood welling from claw marks where his father's nails had been digging into his arm. He turned and ran away from his father, fear bright in his panicked, brown eyes. He slid down the banister and landed at the bottom of the stairs. He heard his father thundering down the stairs behind him. He ran to the front door and fumbled with the lock but his father was right behind him. He ran to the kitchen, where the nearest phone was. He heard his father getting closer, screaming profanities. He looked around for the small, grey cordless phone that normally lay on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it and started to dial, 9...1...1... He went to press send when his father yanked the phone from his hands and threw it away from them, it bounced off the cabinet.
James reached out and grabbed the first thing he touched, a roll of tape. He threw it at his father’s face and grabbed something else and threw it at his father’s face without even registering what it was, fear and adrenaline running his mind.
James blinked, suddenly, all he saw was red. His father stumbled a few steps towards James, his hands reached out as if he were Frankenstein. He managed to clasp his large hands around James’ neck and looked him into the eyes. “You useless excuse of a-” His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell forward, crushing James against the ceramic tile floor of the kitchen.
James lay there trembling and all he could hear was the phone buzzing, the 911 operator screaming, “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?!”

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This article has 76 comments. Post your own now!

Seren M. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 23, 2012 at 10:42 am
Hey love this you have given me some amzing ideas to do for my detective story assesment thx thumbs up
LASwan said...
Oct. 21, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Thrilling and frightful. Not perfect, but you've definitely got a ton of talent and ideas. My opinion: No part 2. This kind of stuff happens everyday without our knowing. Continuing the story would be unrealistic, and this already bring attention to the issue. Again, great job!
sberning said...
Sept. 29, 2011 at 2:56 pm
please add more to this, you NEED to wright a part 2. this is amazing
R o g u eGraffiti said...
May 10, 2011 at 8:13 pm

R o g u eGrafitti: Very gripping! I'd love to read more


Zeltard said...
May 7, 2011 at 12:10 pm
This was really interesting, I enjoyed it. (Zeltard)
Tsaria said...
May 2, 2011 at 6:48 pm
The Tsaria: Rated and commented. OMG. Your work gets better by the minute! 
jacis14 said...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 4:43 pm
i meant in the past sorry
jacis14 said...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm
hey! great story..and just an idea..if you do expand this more maybe make it in the future like when james was born like what happened to his mom and why his dad treats him that way leading up to this...i think that would be cool
kal94 said...
Apr. 11, 2011 at 8:40 pm
kal94 commented and rated :3
Jenna Flare said...
Apr. 9, 2011 at 6:08 pm
There seemed to be a lot of disconnect between the sentences, so try to improve the flow. Again, grammar and spelling were an issue, but those are easy mistakes to correct. I was interested by this story, but I got a bit confused as to what was happening at the end. Were I you, I'd try to clarify what happened there. Overall, pretty good ^_^
Nox Night said...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 8:39 am
Wow, I absolutely love this, my heart really was gripped with anticipation as to what would happen next.
awritersesteem said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm
yeah looking back I suppose it did! ^.^ but thank you
miley shine said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:28 am
i got very confushed at the end!! but keep writting
awritersesteem replied...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm
yeah looking back I suppose it did! ^.^' but thank you!
ladygaga said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:27 am
i love it very good keep writing.
awritersesteem replied...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm
thank youu (:
waterlyli said...
Feb. 21, 2011 at 11:29 am
I was a little confused about the unknown object and the blood. Maybe add something like "he grabbed something else, feeling its sharp edge dig into his palm before he hurled it at his father". I think it would make more sense that way.
awritersesteem replied...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm
thank youu so much haha (: thats a really good idea!
xLoveLuna said...
Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:45 pm
is it strange that this kind of made me want to cry. So amazing. 
awritersesteem replied...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm
it's pretty emotional =/ so no haha.
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