Presence of a Monster | Teen Ink

Presence of a Monster

December 13, 2009
By Chocolatelover22 SILVER, Henderson, Nevada
Chocolatelover22 SILVER, Henderson, Nevada
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'"

-Forrest Gump

Alex walked me to a ditch and shined the flash light on it. Skid marks could be seen along the side of it. "This is wherethey found his truck." It scared me to be at the crime scene. This is where it all happened, where they took him, was all that was running through my head.
"Well, he has to be in the crops. If not there," i swallowed, "in the woods."
Alex nodded. "I'll take the woods."
Fear tingled at the end of my fingertips. "Are you insane? We'll go together." I whispered.
"No! I thought I told you this. We have to go seperately. We'll have a better chance at finding him this way. You take the crops. I have a walkie-talkie with me so we can communicate."
Before I could protest, she zipped up her jacket and pulled the hood over her head, and was running through the crops that had to be at least three feet taller than her. Soon the scraping sound her body made against the huge plants was slowly fading.
I was alone.
I stood frozen for a moment staring at my shoes as if I could make them move just by looking at them. I listened for something. Anything that sounded like people, but that's the problem with being alone no one can hear you. There was no one. Nothing. I swallowed hard. Lets get this over with. I headed into the tall plants very slowly, quietly. Afraid of making noise. It was difficult to calm down when all you could do was shake. There was no one to talk to. No one for advise.
I looked for what seemed like forever, but was probably a half hour. Alex hadn't tried to reach me. I hope she's okay, I thought. Goosebumps rose on my arms. Maybe if I try to contact her . . .
I pressed down on the walkie-talkie button that read talk on the side, but before I could get in touch with Alex, something moved across my peripheral vision.
I stopped. My breath was coming in gasps showing in the winter air. I was too petrified to turn my head to see what it was. Anxious of what I might find.
I heard a light hiss from behind me as something brushed at my ankle. I screamed bloody murder and that's when I ran and ran. I was half way to the woods now. I couldn't go back to the car, not now. I wouldn't be able to make it.
I was coming into trees now. The woods were much darker than the crops were. The ground was uneven and it was hard not to run without tripping.
My heart was the only thing I could hear now. I felt like my lungs would explode at any moment. I was getting so tired. So light headed it felt like I was floating. My vision was starting to blur and my legs were growing weaker every stride aware that something was catching up. Then a voice was talking to me. My consious? Keep moving, it said. Don't give up. You'll have time to rest when you're safe. I obeyed. The voice was right. It wasn't safe here. I couldn't stop, not even to catch my breath.
Then, unexpectedly, my confidence was shattered glass as it landed on the soft dirt with me. I looked behind me for the first time to see what tripped me. It was a oak tree root that was sticking up through the ground just waiting to be tripped on.
Then i felt the company of something. Something evil. My ankle was burning with a pain I cannot put into words. I couldn't run anymore. I'd have to hop. I wanted to cry. Not just out of sheer pain, but for help too, but that was the problem with being alone. No matter how loud you call no one will hear you. No one will come look for you and no one will find you. I was so overwhelmed that everyone of my sense was on a frenzied alert.That's when I felt it. The presence.
The pesence of a monster.

The author's comments:
It came to me one night when I was home alone and heard noises coming from the downstairs, peering down at the darkness from the top step. I decided to write while I felt terrified so every bit of this short story was a feeling I was going through at the time, which made it feel pretty creepy in the morning when I wasn't scared anymore.

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This article has 4 comments.

on Jan. 14 2010 at 8:23 am
wishing4thebest2day GOLD, Redmond, Washington
10 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving will ultimately make you happier in life. It is rewarding for you to brighten up someone's day." -Anonymous

That is amazing! It let me hanging at the middle and I needed to read the rest after that. It is suspense-full and it is really fantastic. Good job!

on Jan. 8 2010 at 4:33 pm
Lisette-Midnight SILVER, New York, New York
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for the moment you can't put in words.

Wow this is great. It was so breath taking and well i'm speechless

on Jan. 5 2010 at 10:07 pm
Chocolatelover22 SILVER, Henderson, Nevada
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'"

-Forrest Gump

Thanks so much!! ^_^ I'm hoping to start a book around this short story someday. It's really nice to get good feedback.

on Jan. 5 2010 at 6:54 pm
MyLuckyStars SILVER, Annapolis, Missouri
5 articles 2 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep...and miles to go before I sleep. " ---Robert Frost

This is really good! I wanted to know what the moster was, and during the middle of the story when she was running, I realised my hands were ice cold and I was holding my breath. :)