Tonight They Come... (Page 1) | TeenInk

Tonight They Come... (Page 1)

September 25, 2009
By music_lover PLATINUM, Park City, Utah
music_lover PLATINUM, Park City, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
MY quote: "Without music, life would be absolutely pointless.... Music is my life and it always will be!"


I lie awake on my old creaky bed as I stared at the stucco ceiling of my room. The torn and rough red blankets against my skin felt like sandpaper. I was curled up in a ball, trying to keep the cold air from intruding my special warmth underneath. The air smelled old and dusty as I breathed in slow, but heavy breaths as I tried to calm myself. There was no way that I was going to be able to sleep tonight. There was no way that I would be able to fully calm myself, for tonight was the night. They were coming...

The flickering street lights barely shimmered through my dusty window. The street was empty. Not a sole in sight. I squinted to see the old abandoned building across the street from my house. Every time the streetlight flickered out, my room was left in complete darkness, and my heart would start to race. When the streetlight flickered back on I would sigh, and again, try to calm myself. I continued to stare at the tan ceiling as I waited. Waiting for them to come was pure torture. Why couldn’t they just come and get it over with?

In the corner of my room in front of my closet sat my packed backpack. My bags contained everything I would need for tonight. I had my matches, a blanket, toothbrush, hairbrush, a few T-shirts, an extra pair of socks, jeans, and a sweatshirt. I also had some unnecessary belongings like my book, a notebook, pencil, and three candy bars that I still had from Christmas. I was ready. I could do this. But at the same time, I was not ready to forget this place. I was not sure if I could handle this. After tonight, my life would be changed forever.

Continuing to stare at the ceiling, I listened for the sound I was waiting all night to hear. But instead I heard my sister snoring in the room next door. She slept with my parents. Ever since she found out about this night, she slept with my parents. She was afraid. I was afraid. My parents were afraid. But my grandpa, he was never afraid. He could do anything without any second thoughts. Papa is what I call him. I love Papa; he is always there for me.

The author's comments:
This story is very deep and personal. Some of the characters remind me of people in real life. This story is a little bit violent and sad... but I really like it. It's full of emotion that I felt when I wrote it.

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This article has 10 comments.


Diana101 GOLD said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 4:01 pm
Diana101 GOLD, Grove City, Ohio
13 articles 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God's delays are not God's denials"

Really and truly amazing!! I can't wait for another story by u:)

Could you read and comment my stories; there called The murder and Murder of Guilt:)


on Oct. 11 2009 at 7:26 pm
EternalMadness GOLD, Fresno, California
13 articles 1 photo 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I want to save their light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide

Really good! maybe you could read and comment mine??

on Oct. 8 2009 at 11:16 am
music_lover PLATINUM, Park City, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
MY quote: "Without music, life would be absolutely pointless.... Music is my life and it always will be!"

Yeah, I will. Thanks!

on Oct. 5 2009 at 7:59 pm
cheerchick4 SILVER, Beaumont, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
All is fair in love and war

omg. you would notice that.

on Oct. 5 2009 at 5:14 pm
grnlver114 PLATINUM, Seal Beach, California
23 articles 0 photos 12 comments
I think this was super cool idea. I'd love if u"d check out some of my stuff wen it gets put the website. :)

Akayla014 said...
on Oct. 5 2009 at 10:18 am
I think this story was really good!!!!!! Hope u keep writing more storys.

on Oct. 4 2009 at 3:49 pm
Fredwardness SILVER, Romeo, Michigan
8 articles 6 photos 212 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun" -The Killers (Read My Mind)

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." -George Harrison

Hey good job im looking forward to ur sequel

on Oct. 4 2009 at 10:20 am
music_lover PLATINUM, Park City, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
MY quote: "Without music, life would be absolutely pointless.... Music is my life and it always will be!"

Thanks! I had a fun time writing it! I am also writing sequel! Called Tonight WE Come!

Chloe S. said...
on Oct. 3 2009 at 6:40 pm
You spelled soul wrong.

colcona said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 4:35 pm
You did an excellent job with this piece. The way that you worded your sentences really made me want to keep reading. When you said, “I lie awake on my old creaky bed as I stared at the stucco ceiling of my room. The torn and rough red blankets against my skin felt like sandpaper. I was curled up in a ball, trying to keep the cold air from intruding my special warmth underneath. The air smelled old and dusty as I breathed in slow, but heavy breaths as I tried to calm myself. There was no way that I was going to be able to sleep tonight. There was no way that I would be able to fully calm myself, for tonight was the night. They were coming...” It makes me wonder what the character was so worried about. Why is he/she so anxious and nervous about this particular night? It also successfully painted an image of what the character’s bedroom looked like, and helped me picture the dark, stillness of the night. I also liked when you said,” After tonight, my life would be changed forever.” This is a very strong statement, and it effectively has me wondering how the speakers’ life is going to change in one night. However, I do not think reading page one is enough for me. I have many questions running through my mind. I think I’m going to have to read page two.