Dialogue Between Sheldon from "Big Bang Theory" and Shrek from "Shrek" | Teen Ink

Dialogue Between Sheldon from "Big Bang Theory" and Shrek from "Shrek"

April 8, 2012
By Gelino101 BRONZE, Farmington, New Hampshire
Gelino101 BRONZE, Farmington, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A mistake is simply another way of doing things." - Katharine Graham

Shrek: So, your name is Sheldon?
Sheldon: I’m formally called Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper.
Shrek: Sheldon would have been a satisfactory answer.
Sheldon: Satisfactory isn’t a word in my vocabulary. Excelling certainly is!
Shrek: Okay? You’re a bit full of yourself aren’t you?
Sheldon: Full of myself? I’m only a Theoretical Physicist!
Shrek: Would you mind repeating?
Sheldon: I’m a Theoretical Physicist.
Shrek: I’m an ogre.
Sheldon: Do you enjoy the occupation?
Shrek: Nitwit, it’s what I am!
Sheldon: Well, fine. I need to go back to the drawing board on the Grand
Unification Theory!
Shrek: What in Lord Ogre’s name did you say?
Sheldon: I’m trying to prove my theory of Grand Unification.
Shrek: Please explain because the only words I understand out of your
sentence is “I’m trying to prove my theory of.”
Sheldon: I’ll put it in simple terms for you. It’s a candidate model in particle
physics in which at high energy, the three gauge interactions of the Standard
Model which define the electromagnetic, weak, and strong interactions, are
merged into one single interaction characterized by one larger gauge
symmetry and thus one unified coupling constant.
Shrek: That makes sense!
Sheldon: Yes, doesn’t it?
Shrek: No!
Sheldon: But, you just said it made sense.
Shrek: Have you ever heard of the word sarcasm?
Sheldon: Yet another word not used in my wide range of vocabulary.
Shrek: I’m sure Fiona would get a kick out of this!
Sheldon: Who is this lady you speak of?
Shrek: Fiona is my wife.
Sheldon: What a name!
Shrek: I wouldn’t be talking!
Sheldon: What do you mean by that?
Shrek: I wouldn’t exactly say your name is the norm nor would I be making fun
of a princess!
Sheldon: I doubt a princess would marry you.
Shrek: Excuse me? I’d be watching what you say.
Sheldon: I can’t literally watch what I say.
Shrek takes two monstrous steps forward, towering over Sheldon. Sheldon
inches forward as well acting valiant.
Shrek: You really think you’re stronger than me Sheldon? I’m 3 feet taller than
you and much more broad and built than you are.
Sheldon looks down at himself, scrawny arms and all.
Shrek: That’s what I thought.
Sheldon: What did you think?
Shrek: You have to be kidding me, Sheldon. Just never mind.
Sheldon: Alright, then. So will I meet this wife of yours?
Shrek: I’m not sure, if she gets home in time.
Sheldon: Why, do I have a time I must go?
Shrek: Well, no offense, but I don’t really want you here until all hours of the night.
Sheldon: You’re a bit rude, aren’t you?
Shrek: You invited yourself over here, so how dare you call me rude!
Sheldon: I didn’t invite myself over. I just came to visit.
Shrek: That’s when you invite yourself over.
Sheldon: I guess we can agree to disagree even though I know I’m correct.
Shrek: You’re a “Know-it-all” aren’t you?
Sheldon: Yes, thank you for the compliment.
Shrek: It wasn’t a compliment.
Sheldon: It sounds like one.
Shrek: Well I know one thing you don’t know about and that’s common sense.
Sheldon: What’s that?
Shrek: Exactly.
Sheldon: I’m going to go back home and work on my Grand Unification theory.
Shrek: Thank goodness!

The author's comments:
This piece was actually an assignment for school, but turned out to be a bit comical. This is just an example of what a conversation would be like between Dr.Sheldon Cooper and Shrek.

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This article has 4 comments.

on Oct. 21 2020 at 10:17 am
Austin_Sluder123, Osceola, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
not everyone likes me its ok not everyone has good taste

ok, ok i can dig it

on Apr. 26 2012 at 5:55 pm
cayaTW PLATINUM, Yuma, Arizona
29 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who forget history will often repeat it

It was very funny.  it really painted a scene.  i just wnat to know where you came up with this idea with Shrek and all. PS THE BIG BANG THEORY RULES! you should write more of these.

on Apr. 16 2012 at 8:34 pm
Gelino101 BRONZE, Farmington, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A mistake is simply another way of doing things." - Katharine Graham

Thanks, it's greatly appreciated! After reading it I think I potrayed Sheldon really well.

Eilleen said...
on Apr. 16 2012 at 7:28 pm
Eilleen, Saskatoon, Other
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments
This was really funny and the characters sounded exactly like they would...