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It's Kind of a Horsey Story.
One upon a time there was a girl that was born with a horse's head on her normal human body. It was in place of what was supposed to be a normal human head, but alas, was a horse's.
She yinnied, she we-snawed, she yapped, she cawed.
She made every noise you imagined and more - most even a normal horse couldn't make.
She brushed her mane thrice a day, to keep the enormous horse flies away.
Her mother lied "A fat horse fly hates mangled horse hair!"
And so at least her daughter was well-groomed. No one could complain of stench or grotesquity, despite the abnormal state of being.
This horse-girl was named Yannah, after her grand-mama who was quite obscene herself. She was a round old lady with a missing leg, so she wore a wooden peg. Made of knotty pine.
Her left eye was missing too, so she wore an eye-patch that was colored blue.
"Now Yan Yan," said grand-mama, "you musn't go to school this year. Your head has doubled in size, my dear."
And so Yannah waited at home 5 days a week, until weekend came and Brother was free to play with.
"Oh Yannah, what ever shall we do?" Brother cried in despair, "Oh boo hoo!"
"Don't cry!" - oh what Yannah longed to say, but instead she nibbled on some bright yellow hay.
So Brother suggested "We should take you to the doctor by the sea!" and so her and he, skipped with glee.
They hurried on down to the ocean, scurried and scurried as fast as a mouse.
Once they approached the sea, they saw a small young woman. She wore a titanium white lab coat, her freakishly blond coarse hair all tied up in a bun. She was sitting on a cliff high up from the crashing waves, just outside the haunted lighthouse.
Yannah squanked(squealed/honked) out of fear.
"Don't fret, I know her. She's quite a dear." Brother reassured this mutated girl, and led her on up the cliff to the doctor.
Brother was right, the doctor was quite friendly. Her name was Fhanda Wendly. She took Yannah in to her lighthouse lab without giving any grimaces of fright, like Yannah is used to. Brother hobbled on after them.
The lighthouse wasn't haunted at all - it was green and sparkly, and hanging from the ceiling was a disco ball. Fhanda showed Yannah and Brother the second level where she said she does her experiments.
Yannah winced, but Dr. Wendly explained "Not any harnmful experiments, sweetie. Good ones that can cure people of illnesses of all kinds, like yours!"
Brother and Yannah were so pleased to hear, that they danced and skipped and sang and cheered.
"Alright, alright," Dr. Wendly laughed "now it's time for me to fix you up!"
Yannah whinnied in excitement.
However, Brother and Yannah were not prepared for what was to come of them next.
Fhanda examined Yannah's condition and ran a few harmless tests and Brother fidgeted with anticipation. Fhanda shook her head in disappointment.
"I am afraid I cannot change your horse head."
"What?!" Brother exclaimed quite loudly with anger. "You said you could!"
"I...I can. But only on one condition."
"What? What? Anything!" Brother was getting antsy.
"I would need to replace her horse head with another human's head. It is nearly impossible to do it otherwise. If I tried shaping her head to be normal, she could loose her mouth or her eyes. Her horse features are too big to be maliableized."
Yannah started to weep. There was no way she could decapitate another human just for her own sake, no matter how mean people were to her.
"What about my head?" Brother asked, but Yannah protested vehemently with kicks and cries and screams.
He ignored her yells,"You could make mine look like a little girl's head, that you could manage, right?" Fhanda pondered at the morbid idea. She nodded grimly.
"It is up to you, you two decide. Come back in at least five days when you've made your decision."
And so Brother and Yannah left the lighthouse feeling like two different people. They didn't even know where to start discussing the matter, and couldn't talk about it in front of mother or father. They both would surely fall into cardiac arrest at the thought of a headless boy and a boyish girl.
So they went to grand-mama for help. She was 103 years of age, and as healthy as a...horse. She would be wise enough to help solve their dilemma.
When Brother finished presenting their problem, grand-mama sighed heavily. It was such a heavy sigh, it created a gust of wind and blew Brother and Yannah back a bit.
"So? What do you think?" Brother said as he grasped onto a table leg so he wouldn't get blown out the window.
"I think," grand-mama said "That I should sacrifice my head for Yannah."
Yannah screlled(screamed/yelled) at this thought. Not because her grandmother's head was as ugly as a horse's a**, or because she was missing an eye, but for the same reason she wouldn't let Brother do the same thing. Because she loved them so!
"No," Brother said, "I should because my head is the perfect size for her body. We are the same age. It has to be me."
Grand-mama sighed once again, but luckily not as heavily.
"You're right. You both are 14. You're right....I will not come between this act of love."
For you see, Brother was not related to Yannah at all. His name was Brother Wendly, and he was very much in love with Yannah.
Yannah could not take this.
She tried and tried to speak with all her might, but could not. All she managed was a peep of horse-sounding noise.
"It is alright, Yannah." He hugged her tight, "I will make this right."
After five days had passed, Yannah and Brother were ready for the operation.
"I love you, Yannah. I will be alright."
All she could do was hug him, for she literally was speechless.
So they climbed their way to the unhaunted lighthouse lab that Brother's mother worked in.
"Brother..." Fhanda came to a running hug and twirled him in the air like he was a little boy.
"Mother.." he said a little embarrassed. Yannah twisted her dress in her hands anxiously.
Dr. Wendly said "Are you sure, Brother? I don't know if I can do this..."
"You must! I have made my decision."
Fhanda nodded her grimly nod, and turned to Yannah. "I am doing this because he loves you so."
Yannah nodded and looked at Brother longingly. He smiled and held her trembling hand.
"Let's do this."
Yannah was placed in a cylinder-like scanning tube to make sure she was healthy for the surgery. She was then placed on a hospital bed and put under, just like Brother.
They lie side by side as Fhanda and some of her scientist helpers started the operation.
It took a total of 6 hours.
When the doctor scientists were done, they first woke Yannah up.
"Yannah, can you hear me?"
Yannah heard but was so used to squealing, she barked at them some incomprehensible speech.
She tried again.
"Yes! Yesyesyesyes!" Her voice sounded sweet and girly-like. Dr. Wendly had fixed her voice box to sound like a little girl's.
"Now, can you see me?"
Fhanda waved her hand in front of Yannah's new beautiful face.
"Yes!" Yannah touched her hand. She was excited in this new world of color and understanding. She screamed in excitement. This woke Brother up.
At first, Yannah hadn't looked to her left to see what had been done to her lover. But as he sat up, she stared in awe.
Dr. Fhanda Wendly had switched their heads!
Instead of Brother being a mindless headless freak, she stitched Yannah's old head onto his.
Fhanda couldn't find a way to fix his voice box to give him human speech, so he we-snawed like Yannah used to.
But this time, Yannah could understand him, since horse was her first language.
"CAW SMAKO WEEEEEEE-AHHH BOO!" Brother roared, not totally in control of his new voice.
"I love you too, Brother! Oh how I love you!" She leaned over and kissed his gray hairy head with pure passion. Brother leaped with joy.
Dr. Wendly was so excited. She had not lost her son, but gained an interesting horse-boy who was happier than he was before.
Yannah was so pleased she thanked Fhanda and the assistant doctors for their job well done.
The fun had just begun.
Yannah and Brother were closer than they ever were before.
And they lived happily ever after.
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Life is like a box of cheese and flower petal sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it just plain stinks. - M.J.