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May 16, 1960
I miss you more than anyone can ever experience. My heart longs for you and the beating that it makes seems strong enough to drown out the deaths around me . I’m sorry that sounded cynical, its hard for a heart not to be sullen here but I pormise you I will return home, safe.
All My Love, Mason.
That’s what came with todays mail, the letter and a small wooden carved airplane ‘so you don’t forget me’ the letter explained. Like that could ever happen I thought to myself as I made sure to tuck each piece along safely with others under my pillow. Having a small piece of him there helped keep away the nightmares that caused me to toss and turn and often times cry out in the night. Thoughts seemed to creep into my head unwillingly, What if he doesn’t come back? What if he dies without getting a chance to say goodbye? What if he never comes home? NO! I shook my head He will come home I reassured myself coarsely.
I guess I should explain the whole situation, its just so hard to remind myself that he could easily leave me forever at any moment. His name is Mason Willis, and three years ago I became Mrs. Anna Willis. It was a quiet ceremony with just the closest of family and friends. We just couldn’t afford to have a big princess wedding (no matter how much he wanted to give me one). He was always giving me things when we were kids, with money he didn’t have. His mother would scold him and send him to his room without supper, I never knew why he did it until one day I had asked.
“Why do you do it?”
“Do what?” he answered.
“Bring me things, buy me things. You don’t have no money!” I was quite short with him
“I’m preparing you for the day I bring you a ring, dummy” I wasn’t sure whether to be happy with this or push him off the rock we were sitting on. Ten year old little me chose to push him and run away fast.
He followed through with his promise though and only ten years later he did bring me that ring. But I’m getting off topic. Only two years after our marriage, the draft wisped Mason off to fight for our country. He’s been gone for a year , well actually, a year five months and three days. I could give you down to the minute if you really wanted it. The day he left nearly killed me, I refused to see him off . I knew that waving him a good-bye, possibly for forever, would be the hardest thing I had to do. I spent most of that day at my Mom’s house, until he begged and pleaded just enough to convince me to come.
He pulled me over to one of the benches and I held onto him until it hurt. He turned away and I thought he was going to cry. Instead he reached into his pocket, “I bought us something” he said and pulled out baby shoes.
“What is this? Do you know something I don’t?” I half attempted to lighten the mood. He humored me with a half chuckle and turned back, “I’m waiting for the day I can buy her her own everything.” The tears flowed out of my eyes so fast I felt like I would go blind. “Please don’t go,” I gripped onto him, “I promise I’ll write.” The final call for his train was called and he got up. “Every day!” I demanded “I promise.” He ran off too his train and began my first letter.
Visions of high school dances, promises and vows, our past dates all spin through my head like a whirl wind, only stopping on the night he proposed. This memory is just too much for me to handle and I fall to my knees with the all too familiar sensation of tears welling up in my eyes. I sat for a while, wallowing in my memories and praying there was a future, only to be brought back to Earth by a knock at the door.
“H-hello?” I asked weakly, standing up to take a peek at who was there.
“I have a letter here addressed to a Mrs. Willis.” The man on the other side said gruffly.
“A letter?’ I inquired, “Who would send me a letter? I already got my mail from this morning.” I open the door and reach for the letter.
“It says here its from the U.S. Army. Its probably urgent.” The man doesn’t even get his last sentence out before a rip the envelope out of his hands and start tearing at the paper. My hands can’t work fast enough and the worst of possibilities creep into my mind.
The familiar chicken scratch handwriting begins.
Don’t worry. I’m not dead or even wounded (other than a longing heart). I just needed you so much today, I missed you. You have been on my mind since before I even met you and I’m finding it harder and harder to keep getting you out. We had to burn down a village today… All those people lost everything and all I saw in their faces was you and our future family, I just couldn’t’ burn it thinking that so I had to walk away. I don’t mean to worry you, it’s just that you’ve become my only reason to make it through this alive. The only reason this is worth it is that the sooner I am done the sooner I will be with you. I love you more than life itself.
P.S. Anna say thanks to the Mailman will you? Xoxo
“Huh? ” I mumbled silently and looked up so that I could thank the man when I saw his eyes. The pale green eyes I had fallen in love with. For a second I thought I imagined the whole thing, this couldn’t actually be happening. But then I heard his voice, “It’s me Anna.” the sound of him was so soothing, it wasn’t until then I realized how much I had missed it. A smile broke across his face so cocky yet so gentle, this was my Mason. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming for a visit?!?” I hit him as hard as I could square on the chest. “I was preparing you for the day when I would never have to leave.” He said pulling me in closer (obviously my hit had no effect on him). “I’m still mad.” I retorted not giving up quite yet. “I still love you” he replied leaning down to kiss my forehead. “I hate you.” I whispered into him getting on my toes to meet his lips. “You love me.”