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Head Over Heels
So. This is it. The Valentine’s Party of the season.
Right foot, left foot, head up, shoulders back.
Smile like you were just told you are beautiful.
Glance around like you already know what’s going on.
Flip hair over shoulder. Think about how adorable your LBD and hot pink heels make you look. Think about how gorgeous you will look coming down the stairs, even though Evan isn’t with you. Wave to Marsha and Kent, Shirley and Daniel, Katie and Charlie, and everyone else in the front room.
See? You so don’t need Evan to make you hot.
Hmmm… Wonder what he is doing tonight? Did he ask out that Wendy girl who looks like a rodeo clown with all her makeup?
Oh, Who cares! You can fall someone else to fall head in love with. You are just seventeen. You will be fine. Even if he did break your heart so terribly you can never love again.
Or maybe he asked June Hastings? She is so phony. And desperate too. He could do so much better. Like me, for instance.
No! Stay focused, self. You are not going back there.
Ooh! Lynn has a cute dress. Oooh! And an even cuter date.
“Psst! Lynn! Cute dress. Really cute date.”
Sigh. Evan would have been such a cute date. He always was…
No! don’t think about him. Right foot, left foot, that’s right. Act confident. After all, it’s a girl’s best accessory.
And over there is Agnes and Angie Benton with Brett and Tyler Matthews. Freaky, isn’t it, how two sets of twins are dating each other? “It’s like cloned couples or something,” Evan would say. Tell them hi.
Am I the only one here without a date? Am I the single single person here?
Oh who cares! Focus, Jane. Think about your cute pink headband with the big floppy bow, and how it perfectly matches your heels and compliments your complexion. Think about how cute it is. Think about how you are just as special and awesome without Evan as you were with him.
Or just don’t think about him period. Maybe you should try that. Because if you think about him you will cry. And you can’t do that here. Just keep walking. Going through rooms. Telling people hi. Going to the door that leads to the back porch. You can’t cry till you are in the secret arbor in the rose garden.
Keep smiling. Smile you won the lottery. Or a pink convertible Camaro.
Yes, a very fixed up Camaro. With a double hood scoop. Evan said a double hood scoop meant it was fast, and think how much fun it would be to leave his GT in the dust. It only has one hood scoop.
Not that it matters. Because you don’t care about him anymore.
Now think about how cute the doorway to the porch is, with all the pink and red and tinsel and heart balloons framing it. Think about how you will so not look like a single loser, when everyone down on the patio sees you silhouetted in it.
What are you thinking, Jane? You are not a single loser. You really aren’t. Really. Probably. You’re just… a single girl who used to date a really awesome guy. Who turned out to not be so awesome after all. I mean, any guy who tells a girl he loves her, then turns around and dumps her, because he wants to “either be in love or single on the great V-day,” is so not worth missing.
Even if I really did believe he loved me.
Stop, Jane. Get those thoughts away. Here’s the doorway. Now pause for a second in it. Let the light frame you, emphasizing your figure and highlighting your honey-colored hair, making it look almost golden. And quickly figure the fastest way to the rose garden before you start into the crowd. Look calm. Smile like that cute guy at the bottom of the stairs was single and wanted to meet you.
Now start walking. Across the porch, one step, two steps, three steps, four, five, six, seven… Now start down the stairs. Stomach in, head up. Don’t let your heel get caught in the crack between the boards on the stairs. Walk like you have somewhere to be, but they won’t care if you keep them waiting.
Oh dear! Cute Guy has turned and is looking at me. Eek!
Sigh, he just gets hotter and hotter with each step closer.
Wha…? No way. He is walking up the stairs and it’s definitely towards me. Does this mean he wants to meet me? Is my hair frizzing? Is he single? Is he going to walk right by? Maybe he sees someone behind me he wants to talk to. Just focus on that big inflatable pillar that says “love” at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hi, I’m Charlie. I don’t think we’ve met?”
Ahhh! He does want to meet me! Calm down, calm down, he is probably just being nice. No way would a guy like this be single.
“Yeah, I’m Jane. I mean no! I mean yes, yes that no I don’t think we’ve met.” Genius, Jane. Pure genius. Who would guess you actually got an A in that public speaking class?
“Yeah, I’m kinda new here, so I don’t know really anybody. Well, except for Brett and Tyler Matthews, but I lost them in the crowd.”
“Oh, them. They’re inside. But what about your girlfriend?”
I can’t believe I actually said that.
“Yeah, well she dumped me when I moved. So… you want to get some punch or something? Or are you looking for your boyfriend?”
“Punch would be great. And my boyfriend? Nonexistent.” Nicely done, Jane. Now walk down the stairs with him like you aren’t freaking out. Like you are totally unaware that every girl on the porch and patio both, is watching you walking with him. Walk gracefully and think of something witty and intelligent to say. And watch those heels…
“Ahh!” Ahhh! Stairs coming at me! Charlie diving in front of me! Charlie diving in front of me?
Squeak? Uh-oh. That would be the inflatable “love” pillar.
“Whoa, you okay?
I tried to catch you, but we kinda came down head over heels.”
“Uh,” so much for intelligent talking. Charlie is pinned under me, the inflatable “love” is under him, and I my pride is smashed somewhere under both of them. And then I find my witty comment:
“Well, I always knew I would fall head over heels into love someday, but I never thought it would happen quite like this!”