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Under all that tough attitude
“Mom…. Don’t start again.” I said tying my shoe laces.
“Honey, I expected a girl who would be girly, not some basketball, skater girl.” My mother said staring at me. I sighed, Mother had been complaining to me since I was 8 about me not being girly like she wanted me to do. But the very idea of wearing dresses, and makeup, and high heels and all makes me want to vomit.
“MOM! I don’t want to be a girly girl, and I never will be!” I argued picking up my basket ball and skateboard.
“Come on, just come to the mall and look at some clothes with me.” She said whining. I shook my head no and dropped my skateboard down in front of me. I stood and pushed off as I held my basketball under my arm. When I reached Danny’s house I shouted for him. Danny was my best friend, he skated and played basketball with me all the time, he was even on my basketball team.
He came running out with his hat turned sideways and his skateboard and basketball in his hand.
“Ready,” I asked? He nodded and we started off. In a minute we arrived at the park where they had a basketball court. ‘Rocky Edge Town Park’ was etched into the rock for the park sign. We passed the tennis court until we arrived at the basketball court. I hopped of my board and picked it up laying it at the edge of the basketball court.
As I started to dribble my ball with Danny I started to think about my mom.
“Jen?!” Yelled Danny at me.
“W..w..what?” I asked snapping back into reality.
“You have some weird look on your face and you’re not paying attention.” He said concerned.
“ Nothing, it’s nothing.” I said shrugging my shoulders. I started to shoot but Danny stopped me again.
“Is it your mom?” He asked looking at me.
“Why should you care, you don’t have to pretend like you want to know what’s wrong.” I said angry at him for trying to figure out stuff that wasn’t his business. I had a bad temper you could say when people tried to get me to tell them what’s wrong when they have no business knowing. I grabbed my board and walked off.
“Jen,” He called grabbing his board and running after me. “Jen.”
“What!” I yelled whipping my head around.
“C’mon, it’s ok, I really want to know why you’re so upset.”
“I’m NOT upset,” I yelled at him starting to get on my board. Danny grabbed my arm and pulled me off my skateboard. I hit him hard and he grabbed my board. “Give the board back, now!” I said giving him a death stare.
“No, not until you tell me what’s wrong Jen. I know somewhere under all your fake tough attitude, you have emotions. Stop blocking people out and let them in.” I stared at him for a long while, he had a genuine stare in his eyes. I looked at him longer thinking whether or not to tell him. Then I sat down on a bench nearby and he sat next to me.
“My mom, she wants… she just wants me to be all girly and fru fru, and I just wished she understood that I wanted to be athletic and sporty, and that I’d rather spend my time skating around town then skating the mall.” After I said that, I poured out my emotions about how I wished that I actually felt she loved me.
When I was done, in a sort of chaos in the moment, Danny leaned in far and kissed me. For a minute I closed my eyes and enjoyed, then I realized what was happening and jerked away.
“Was that good?” Danny asked me with a soft gentle face and beautiful eyes. I shrugged my shoulders and we kissed again. When I pulled away, I nodded, that was good.
I stared at him for a moment and then I got up.
“I…. I better get going.” I said gathering my stuff in a hurry, I was so embarrassed.
“Do you have to?” He asked sadly. I nodded yes and hurried to get on my board.
“Umm.. yeah, sorry, I gotta go.” I said getting ready to push off.
“See ya tomorrow?” Danny asked, I pushed off and sped away from him before replying.
What happened, I thought speeding away. You kissed him, kissed him, kissed Danny. The very idea of it made me smile and shudder at the same time. Danny, kiss, Danny, kiss, Danny ran through my head I tried to push it out, but it wouldn’t budge. I thought about it the whole way home. When I opened the door to my modern mansion house that my Father, President of Orange Computer and Eletronics Co. had bought 4 years ago. I ran to the mudroom dropped my skateboard and shoes in a trunk and ran upstairs. I slammed the door shut to my room and threw the basketball. Danny and I kissed, should I see him tomorrow, if I do, should I act casual or all shy, or all questionable about us? What should I do, I thought, and this is what I thought the whole entire night!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
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