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March 4, 2010
I hadn’t checked my diary for any new messages from Ash in a few days, and I hadn’t ever written back to the last message he’d left me either. So I decided that now was as good of a time as any. And when I opened my diary, I was surprised to find three new messages from Ash.
You didn’t write back to the message I left you yesterday, which worries me a bit. I hope that you check this one, and soon.
Ok, so I saw what happened today with you, Michael, Shaun, and Kristy. First of all, why the hell would you tell Shaun and Kristy about Michael? Are you trying to get yourself killed or something? This isn’t just stupid high school gossip, Evalynne. You can’t just spread this around to whoever you want. This is serious.
If Michael finds out that you know the truth about him and are telling other people about it, he’s not going to be very happy. Did you ever even think about it that way? Do you think at all before you do things? Obviously, Michael’s a psychopath. He practically threatened to kill Shaun yesterday. So don’t do anything to upset him. Do what I told you to do before and just stay the hell away from him!
Sorry to get so mad like this, but I don’t want to see you get hurt. I’m only trying to protect you. So please cooperate with me here. I love you so much.
That one was from the morning of March 2nd. I felt a small pang of guilt in my chest after reading it. I had promised to stay away from both Michael and Will…I definitely broke that promise. Sighing, I read the next message, which was from the morning of March 3rd.
Why aren’t you reading my messages? I know that you have a lot going in your life right now, but please keep reading what I have to say. Like I told you before, it takes a lot of energy to talk to you. In fact, I can’t even muster up enough energy to talk to you sometimes.
Anyways, I heard your phone call with Cole… I’m so sorry. What your Dad is doing is really awful and you don’t deserve it. But like you and Cole said, Nina is a homewrecker. She’s most likely going to end up leaving your Dad and moving onto her next victim soon enough. So he’s going to get a taste of his own medicine.
Also, I know how you feel about Cole. You know that I’ve never liked Cole, and I still don’t…but that’s not the reason for what I’m about to tell you. What I’m about to tell you is just for your own good.
You need to get over Cole. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but I want to make myself clear to you. Cole is not a good person. He’s a player. And I’ve read his mind too, just to see if he truly does care about you. I’m going to be very honest with you right now. Cole does really love you.
However, if he really loves you—which he does—then he shouldn’t leave you for Katrina. The only reason he’s with her is because he wants you to see that you were wrong for choosing me over him. He’s still pretty bitter about that I guess. But that just proves what a horrible guy he is. Because he shouldn’t do that to people he loves. It’s wrong and it’s cruel.
I just really want you to see that, because I love you and I don’t want you to get hurt. Please take what I said into consideration.
I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. Reading this message from Ash was bittersweet. Sure, I was thrilled that Cole actually did still love me. But I was also heartbroken that he was bitter enough to try and hurt me just because I didn’t choose him over Ash. And Ash was absolutely right: what Cole was doing really was wrong and cruel. People weren’t supposed to treat others like that. Especially others that they loved.
If I listened to Ash and found a way to get over Cole then maybe things would get better. If he was no longer a part of my life then he couldn’t hurt me anymore. And that was what I wanted, right? For me to stop being hurt by the people I cared about. But if that meant isolating myself from those people then was it really worth it?
I let out a frustrated sigh. I had no clue what to do. I could try to get over Cole. But I’d tried to do that before and I couldn’t, so would I be able to this time? If so, how? It’s not like I would just wake up one day and no longer care about Cole. He was a huge part of my life. He wasn’t going to disappear that easily.
Biting my bottom lip, I decided to just stop thinking about Cole completely. After all, I still had one last message to read. I glanced at the date on it. This one was from this morning, just a few hours ago.
Ok, if you don’t reply to this message then I’m going to have to summon enough energy to talk to you.
But I’m not going to keep yelling at you about that because I have something else that I want to yell at you about. And that something is Will. What in the world were you thinking, Evalynne? I told you stay away from him, and then you went ahead and kissed him! Do you listen to anything I say?
You have no idea how angry I am right now. Do you realize what could happen if Michael finds out about what happened? I’m trying to protect you here, and you’re just making it difficult. I don’t understand why you can’t just stay away from the McKnights. It’s not that hard.
I know that you like Will, and that’s great. But do yourself a favor and wait until after Michael is done visiting to make out with him. Oh, and also wait until after he breaks up with his girlfriend. Remember about her? Probably not, because you’re too busy sucking face with Will! Gosh, have a little self-control!
He doesn’t like you back anyways, so there’s no use in trying to make things work with him anyways. You just give it up Evalynne. The guy has a girlfriend. Face it, you can’t have him. So stay away!
Ok, sorry that I just completely went off on you like that, but you completely deserved it. You seriously need to think before you do things. It will really help you in the long-run. I love you, which is why I’m getting so angry with you. So please just do what I tell you to.
I should’ve felt lucky to have such a caring husband. I should’ve been happy to have a husband who wanted nothing but to protect me. I should’ve been grateful to have a husband that was there to point out my mistakes so that I wouldn’t make them again. But instead I was furious.
Who the hell did Ash think he was? He couldn’t just tell me what to do like that! This was my life, not his! And it really made me mad that he thought he could say all these vicious things to me and get away with it! And he thought he was helping me! He probably expected me to write back thanking him for his consideration!
Hell. Freakin’. No.
I liked Will, and even though Will didn’t like me back, I was still perfectly fine with being friends with him. After all, he was a very loyal friend to me, and he didn’t deserve to be kicked to the curb because of his brother.
Michael had been causing people to isolate Will all his life. Will had gone his entire life feeling lonely, feeling guilty, feeling like he wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t going to add to that pain by falling into Michael’s trap and ditching him. He didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
And I definitely didn’t deserve to be yelled at by my dead husband. That really made me angry. Especially the second to last paragraph. He knew how hurt I was that Will didn’t like me back. He could read my mind for crying out loud! Yet he still ridiculed me about it. And I wasn’t going to let him get away with that.
So Ash could shove his stupid messages right up his ass. Angrily, I snatched my pen from my nightstand and wrote back to Ash.
You might be my husband, but that doesn’t mean you can control me. I will live my life the way I want to. And I don’t have to listen to a word you say. Sure, some of it may be for my own good. But we both know very well that Michael’s going to end up killing me either way. So you can stop being so overprotective.
Besides, Will and I are going to come up with a plan to stop Michael. Neither of us can do it on our own. We need eachother in order to beat Michael. And I’m not going to flake out on Will just because he doesn’t like me back. I can still be friends with him you know. So don’t you dare tell me to stay away from him. Especially since he’s going to help me stop Michael.
Seriously though Ash. Do you really want me to just sit in my house, hiding from Michael? Or do you want me to fight back? Will and I might be able to stop him. That way he won’t kill anyone else. Don’t you want that?
Gosh, why am I even asking you this? After all, you’re a murderer yourself. You’re just as bad of a person as Michael. So don’t you try to act like he’s some awful, cruel, psychotic monster, because you’re just as bad. Maybe if I’d realized that last summer, I would have done the smart thing and chose Cole over you. After all, he’s not a killer.