Pinky Promise | TeenInk

Pinky Promise

May 19, 2010
By iluvnacho PLATINUM, Somewhere, Colorado
iluvnacho PLATINUM, Somewhere, Colorado
28 articles 1 photo 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Find the beauty in the ugly\"-Jason Mraz 5-19-10
\"Be kinder than nessicary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.\" Unknown 11-29-10


"I'm sorry," he whispered, voice gentle with pain. I kept my gaze locked on the floor, fighting the urge to cry."Please, look at me," he begged, brushing his hand under my chin. I bit my lip, forcing myself to do so. No longer were his eyes depths of chocolate brown spinning with green. They were dull, but sorrowful. So sorrowful. Nothing needed to be said when I hugged his broad shoulders. A few tears slipped, but I wiped them away before he saw. He was doing this for a good reason. In a way, I was proud of him. Maybe not of picking his country over me, but either way, he was going to be gone. Far away, over the salty sea where I could only imagine what he ws doing without his hand slipped through my own. "Hey," he softly said, tender hand running over my cheek."I'm going to be fine. I pinky promise." He humored me, wrapping his large pinky finger around my own. I managed to pull up my lips up in a smile and squeezing my pinky against his. Gingerly, he kissed his cool lips on my finger. That's when I almost lost it, broke down completely. I didn't have time to cry when his lips intertwined with my own, the kiss it's own firework. For a moment in time, I felt perfect, as nothing could break me. Dread bleached my blood when I saw his camoflauge outfit disappear with the others. Not all promises can be kept.


The author's comments:
Dear John inspired this one. Nicholas sparks is an amazing writer. This book was so real, I wanted to try to imitate what he did to me when I was flipping through his book. worth a try.

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This article has 6 comments.


BluBliss GOLD said...
on Nov. 22 2011 at 10:19 am
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
14 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bella's love for Edward was like, "Omg. He's hot. He's mine because he sparkles. Now I'll brood the wholle book while I'm with him."

Not all promises can be kept. I liek that sentence. It's kidn of ...weird to think that every one of the hundreds of instances this happens, each one seems individual... though really, they're all teh same.

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 23 2010 at 11:10 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

Well, seeing as though war-torn romance is one of my favorite types of writing, I'll start with the gushing praise. :)

 

I like your word choice, and I also like the emotions you put into this.  Sounds a lot like how my mom feels when my dad deploys.  Very nice. :)  A also like that you made her fittingly upset, but not one of those whiny cliche girls who totally freak out and have a major hissy. lol  Lastly, I like how you left off, leaving the character and the reader teetering on the edge of the tragic uncertainty that is war. :)

 

Now for the critique.  You need to space this out better - block style + intense emotion = overwhelming.  Also, I don't really like the bit about the sea - it's just a tad confusing. :)  Lastly, just make sure and polish it up.

 

Overall, very nice. Good job! :D


on Jul. 12 2010 at 8:00 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

awww :/ this was really good. you hav beautiful word choice. good work :)

dinosaurXkid said...
on Jul. 3 2010 at 11:59 pm
dinosaurXkid, Westminister, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't cry over split white milk, only if its chocolate.

sad  but good I love it love&rockets-moomoo's

on Jun. 7 2010 at 9:04 pm
iluvnacho PLATINUM, Somewhere, Colorado
28 articles 1 photo 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Find the beauty in the ugly\"-Jason Mraz 5-19-10
\"Be kinder than nessicary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.\" Unknown 11-29-10

Thank you. This is my first submission, so any incouragment is greatly apprieciated.

on Jun. 7 2010 at 8:56 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

wow that was really good and sad but you have amazing writing skillz :)