Halleujah | Teen Ink


May 15, 2010
By NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
24 articles 5 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.~ Rumi
Realisim, in painting, is what one wants to see, not what they really see. ~ Janet Fish

I turned down my I-pod, inspected all my cuts and bruises from the night before and looked out the window. My long, curly brown hair blew around as i sat in the front seat of my mom's beaten up old orange Volkswagen Bug. The passenger seat handle was falling off and rusted (just like the rest of it)and fell of as we hit a stop at an even older Victorian house. "Erica...." I said nervously. My mother always wants me to call her that in front of her boyfriend/Ex-boyfriend Royce (before you get confused, our family is hard to follow) who was waiting at the house for us.

"Kira, it'll be fine. Your father absoulutely LOVES these old, beautiful...things. Right babe?" She purred at Royce as her fingers crawled around him and his went straight to her butt, "Ya know it sweet-lips." He smiled a toothy smiled.

"Father?" I mumbled under my breath and rolled my eyes. Royce glarred at me as soon as my mother went scurrying into the house. He grabbed my forearm hard enough to break it and i screamed and fought to get away.

"Listen here Shikira, You will NOT ruin this for me, ya here? I love your mother and she loves me," He said throwing my arm back and forth.

"Yeah right...You just want whatever money we have left..which isn't much due to what you 'borrowed' last month." I said. He threw me to the sidewalk cement and i skidded my arm aginst the cold cement. Blood flowed all over my arm and hand that broke my fall. I started to cry.

"You little-" he said a swear that i don't like repeating or know the meaning of "I'm your father now and you should treat me like one-with respect. Got it?" He roared angerly at me.

Tears flowed down my cheeks and I quivered and shook with fear as I blurted out, "You're not my father-that's my REAL Daddy. If Daddy knew what you are doing to me, you'd be in jail by now." I stopped crying and gasped as Royce picked me up by the shoulders far off the ground.

"You dare tell anyone about this or our little 'games' and I'll you and your mother and already be in Mexico before the cops can get me. Do you WANT your mother to die?" "NooOOoo!!" I cried harder, "No WHAT??" "No I don't want her to die!!" I tried to get out but saliva collected and coated my mouth which prevented me from crying and he threw me to the ground and I spat out a wad of blood.

"And what else?!!??" he fummed, stepping on my ribcage. I heard a crack. I cried even harder and couldn't speak. He stepped harder and harder until I heard at least three more cracks, "ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!" He shouted furiously. "No I won't tell anyone." and i cried really really hard.

"What will you tell your mother???" He asked as I tried to get up. He choaked me by the neck and pinned me against a tree. "That i fell out of a-" i searched the area for something "_a tree. I fell out of a tree." I quivered.

"Now go to ballet and stop crying, you big baby. And don't forget-before you go to your 'father's' tommorow morning, I want to play our special game with you," he smirked, letting me down. I coughed and gasped for air and clutched my stomach, holding everything in. "Yes sir," I responed as my mother came out running and screaming. Royce scooped me up in his arms and put on his loving face.

"Oh my god! Shakira!!!" She screamed and sobbed. I was bleeding all over and crying. "What happened?" She asked quickly. Even though my mother had problems, she still tried to care about me, but her Multiple Personality Dissorder didn't help much. One minute I was her little angel, the next she was crying in her bedroom or scolding me because we didn't have any cake mix.

"I-I Fe-llll out of a t-t-tree..." I stuttered, trying to catch my breath. My mother looked at me with a puzzled expression. "Walk it off, you baby. Go to ballet and stop crying. You're eight years old now." She said shooting me off to the house. There goes her problem.

Once i got inside (I tripped over loose floorboards and junk)I went into what said "SHAKIRA'S BEDROOM" in big red letters on a piece of constuction paper. It had a fadded white background with pink trim on the top. It was sorta pretty, if you like old things. The only new thing I got to have was the I-pod Nano that Royce got for me to keep my mouth shut about our games'. I hated to play out games. They made me strip down to my undies and have him kiss me and touch me in places that I didn't like to be touched. he then would throw me to the bed and do more bad things. I shuttered and opened my brown suitcase of clothes. I wore old 1920's dresses and skirts, because that's what Royce liked. Royce likes to take advantage of mother's dissored. He would scold me when she hated me and 'love' me when she loved me. I got into my baby pink leotard and put on my black leggings and huffed downstairs. I hated this, Royce made me do it as well. he told my mother it would be good for me and she said, "Whatever. if she wants to."

I was called downstairs by my mother and was kissed ont he top of the head, "Love you sweetie. Have a good time." She cooed over me and then sent me off to the car with he purse and old me to wait there while she talked to Royce. When she got in asbout five minutes later she had a concerned expression on her face. "Sweetheart, I want you to tell me if you like Royce or not, kay? Your honost, un-biased opinion." She aked while keeping her eyes on the road.

"Yeah, He's great Erica," i said with a frown on my face as I looked out the window, "better than Daddy." I said through my teeth. Who cared if I lied? Why not just tell her what she wants?

"Really?" She had a scared expreeion on her face. "Yeah, Moth-Erica." I said. "I want to tell you soemthing. baby, I might be pregnant," She said with a scared expression on her face. Now that she mentioned oit, she did look a little rounder in the middle, aside from her usually bony legs and arms. She also only liked to eat when she was sad, and not when she was happy. She was so wierd sometimes.

"Erica! Mother! Whoever you are how could you do this! And with Daddy? You two are DIVORCED!!" I screamed at her. a BABY? With Daddy? They already had me, and that was too much for her. "No, sweetie, with Royce." She assured, now smiling. UGG! She's so confusing!!! "ROYCE? But Eri-Mother I HATE! HATE! HATE! him!!!" I yelled even louder.

Just then, an oncomming car swerved to avoid us and our car went rolling over and over and finally after 9 rolls, off a bridge and a hard impact into the icy Missasipi River.........

The author's comments:
Please comment or rate, i like the constructive critisism...Hope you like! I will answer any Questions once it's out. Tell me if i should rite more...

Similar Articles


This article has 9 comments.

on Nov. 15 2011 at 5:14 pm
intense but really it was amazing keep writing

on Aug. 19 2011 at 11:35 pm
Autumn-Rain SILVER, West Lafayette, Indiana
9 articles 1 photo 74 comments
Great job! I loved it! By all means keep writing! Like others said, at some points it didn't seem like it was written from an 8 year old's point of view... but I loved it!

on Nov. 29 2010 at 2:10 pm
sweetly_broken GOLD, Garner, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
We never know how big we are until we are asked to rise.

i really like the idea and you should definitely write more. Sometimes it didn't seem like it was written from an eight year old point of view, and should have been a little simpler or more personal. There were also several typos that could have been avoided, but other than that, good job! check out my stuff please! :)

on Sep. 23 2010 at 4:51 pm
Tolstoy17 SILVER, Whitehall, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Everything you do in life will be insignificant, but it\'s important that you do it.\" Gandhi.

I couldn't stop reading it, for sure, but there were a lot of mistakes that could've been easily prevented over a read through. The plots is at some times confusing, as well as the structure, but it was suprsising and kept my attention

on Jul. 19 2010 at 2:18 pm
kielymarie SILVER, Sandy Hook, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you do dance, I wish you a wave 'o the sea, that you might never do nothing but that." -William Shakespeare

It's okay, but the writing is a little choppy. I also think you should keep in mind that your writing from Kira's point of view, which means that  it should sound like an eight-year-old and you should describe the sexual abuse a little more. You don't have to go into detail, but you shouldn't sound like your scared of the subject. Otherwise, I like the idea!

on Jul. 19 2010 at 2:14 pm
kielymarie SILVER, Sandy Hook, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you do dance, I wish you a wave 'o the sea, that you might never do nothing but that." -William Shakespeare

I think it's okay. Very choppy and a little juvenile.  It was kind of confusing and I think you should describe the sexual abuse a little more- you do'nt have to go into detail but it seems like your scared of the subject. Remember this is from Kira's POV- make it personal. 

SandyC SILVER said...
on May. 31 2010 at 8:25 pm
SandyC SILVER, Concord, Other
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the end it won't matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away"

very sad..but powerful at the same time..and also captivating, it kept me reading...adding in the fact that her mother was pregnant was a huge shock, but kept it interesting..great work!:P

on May. 28 2010 at 4:08 pm
NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
24 articles 5 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.~ Rumi
Realisim, in painting, is what one wants to see, not what they really see. ~ Janet Fish

*BOWS HEAD* THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! Sorry, was stuck on caps XD Hype and happy! pretty picture.

on May. 27 2010 at 5:05 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

.....OHMYGOSH! that is really powerful and heartbreaking! wow.....really well written though you are amazing!