EC+AM=4ever Chapter 1 | Teen Ink

EC+AM=4ever Chapter 1

September 2, 2009
By TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

June 4, 2009

6:00 p.m.

Evalynne's House

Dear Diary,

Today I met someone. A boy. He just moved in next door, him and his mom. He doesn't live with his dad and he doesn't have any siblings. His name is Ash, Ash Mongolia. I was kind of shy when I met him. All I did was quickly introduce myself. But today when I looked out my bedroom window, I saw him making his bed. The window of his room is right across from the window in my room.

Ash has light blonde hair that's done in a spiky hair style. He's strong-looking with broad shoulders and a tight six-pack. His eyes are a grayish-blue that remind me of the Atlantic ocean. I hope that one day we can go down to the ocean and hang out. I love going to the beach and just watching the waves roll in.

I hope that we can become friends. Or maybe even more than that. opefully, I won't be as shy once I get to know him better. But he'll probably just completely ignore me anyways and go hang out with Julianne Wiggins or Kelly Richardson.

Well I've got to go now. Mom's calling me down for dinner.

I put down my diary and walked downstairs to eat dinner. We were having grilled chicken with pasta salad. As I bit into a pesto-soaked noodle, Mom asked, "So have you met the new neighbors yet?"

"Yeah, I met one of them. The teenager, Ash is his name." I replied.

"Oh, well is he nice?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said.

"Is he cute?" Mom said in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes. "There's no way I'm discussing cute guys with you."

"So he is cute!"

"Ugh, fine! I admit it, he's cute. There, are you happy?"

Mom smiled at me jovially and I had to smile back. We would always have these pointless faux fights with each other.

"I haven't gotten a good look at him yet. What does he look like?" she asked me.

"He has spiky blonde hair, pale skin. He actually kind of looks like a mix of Ryan Phillippe and Christopher Masterson before he grew a beard." I told her.

"Ooh, he definitely sounds like he's cute." she complimented.

"Ok, can we stop talking about cute boys, please? It's not exactly my favorite dinner topic." Dad said.

"Ok, what do you want to talk about?" Mom asked him.

"Well it's the first day of summer vacation. Do you have any idea what you're going to do over the summer?" he asked me.

"I don't know." I replied. "Hang out with Kristy?" I said it more as a question than a statement.

"I think you should get to know our new neighbors." Mom told me suggestively.

"We'll see, Mom. But he's probably going to meet someone like Julianne Wiggins or Kelly Richardson and hang out with them." I said, referring to the two most beautiful, popular, and stuck-up girls in my school.

"You don't know that. I'm sure that if you talked to him a few more times, you two could become friends."

"If you say so," I replied, knowing that would never happen. With my untamable hair, braces, and plain black-framed glasses, I wouldn't even recieve a passing glance from Ash. I sighed and finished eating my dinner in silence.

When I was done with my dinner, I went back up to my room and plopped down on my bed. I pulled out my worn, dog-eared copy of Twilight and began reading it for the fifth time. But I saw something out of the corner of my eye that caused me to put favorite book down.

It was Ash. He was standing in his room, taking his shirt off. I knew it was an invasion of privacy, but I just couldn't tear my eyes away from the window. I sat there on my bed, gazing at his chiseled abs. Yeah, he was definitely a six-pack.

Then his eyes met mine and I gasped in panic. He had seen me staring at him. He began walking over to his window, and I sat frozen in place on my bed, not knowing what to do. Then he opened it up, and motioned for me to open mine too.

So I hesitantly approached my window, and opened it.

"You should take a picture, it'll last longer." he said, sticking his head out the window so that I could hear him.

I looked down at my beat up, plain white Keds. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Sorry, I can't hear you. You're going to have to speak up a little." he said.

I picked my head up to face him and said at a normal volume, "Sorry. For...staring at you, I mean."

He laughed lightly, "It's ok. Lots of girls tend to stare at me out the window."

"Oh, ok," I replied, sounding completely stupid. Gosh, I was making a total fool out of myself.

"It was a joke." he informed me, laughing again. "We met earlier, right?"

"Uh, yeah,"

"What did you say your name was again?" he asked.


"Evalynne." he repeated. "That's a nice name."

"Oh, uh, thanks," Why couldn't I just be myself around him? Why did I have to act so shy and nervous?

"You don't have to be so nervous around me." he said, as if he were reading my mind. "I'm just a regular person."

I blushed beet red. "Oh, sorry,"

"And you don't have to keep apologizing either."

"Oh, um, ok. Sorr-" I stopped myself before I could complete the word "sorry".

"Ok, well I've got to go now. I'll see you around, Evalynne." He shut his window and pulled down his blinds so that I couldn't peer into his house anymore.

I quickly shut my window and pulled down my own blinds. I felt like such an idiot!

Why was I cursed with shyness? Why couldn't I just have a normal conversation with Ash? Why, why, why?

I needed to call Kristy, my one and only friend. She was one of those friends who was always there for you, who always has your back. I could tell her anything and everything, because over our eight years of friendship, I've developed a strong trust towards her. I knew that she would always be loyal to me and never lie.

So I dialed her number into my cell phone and she picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, what's up?" she answered.

"Hi Kristy, this is an emergency." I told her. "A boy emergency."

"I'm all ears." she replied.

"Ok, there's this extremely hot guy named Ash that moved in next door to me. And his bedroom window is directly across from mine. So a few minutes ago I saw him taking his shirt off in his room. He saw me staring at him and then we talked with each other out the window. I made a complete fool out of myself!"

"How'd you do that?" she asked.

"Well I was painfully shy and nervous, which he noticed, and I kept on apologizing for every stupid thing that I said. And believe me, I said a lot of stupid things."

"Wow, you did not make a very good first impression." she commented.

"Kristy! I need help here! What am I supposed to do?" I cried.

"Well you could always talk to him again tomorrow. But this time you might want to act a little smoother."

"I can't talk to him again! I get way too nervous!"

"Well just act like your talking to me. Just act like yourself. The best way to impress someone is not to try."

"Thanks for the advice, you're a great help!" I told her. All I had to do was not try to impress him. Just like Kristy said, act like myself.

"What are friends for? Ok, well I've got to go now, bye!" Both of us hung up and I climbed back into my bed, picking up my copy of Twilight.

Tomorrow I would make sure that Ash knew that I was not just some shy, nervous, dorky freak who liked to stare at him when he was shirtless. I would act cool, calm, and collected. And I definitely wouldn't be shy.

The author's comments:
This is chapter 1 of the novel I'm working on, EC+AM=4ever.

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This article has 36 comments.

on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:18 pm
Green8a8 SILVER, NY, New York
8 articles 1 photo 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
im the author of my life, unfortunately im writing in pen therefore i can't erase nothing about it.-by some crazy friend of mine

ok i seriously wished u were done with it lol

can u pleeese post fast lol u left me on suspense

on Mar. 14 2010 at 12:32 pm
I just started reading your story it is really good!

on Jan. 30 2010 at 11:22 am
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far! :)

trblue GOLD said...
on Jan. 30 2010 at 8:18 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

i think she is the bella of her own story.

on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:59 pm
bubbasamantha GOLD, Woodville, Ohio
12 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Most dreams don't come true on their own; you have to make them true.  It takes a lot of work.  It's not easy, but not impossible, either.

Hey, I've read a few of your chapters, and I think they're pretty good. I was so surprised to see that your story was voted #2! Congrats!

on Oct. 23 2009 at 5:30 pm
noelleism PLATINUM, Russellville, Alabama
24 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can not dwell on the past, and I will not live on what the future may hold, but yet take comfort and find perpose in the second yet to come.

I think you are a very talented writer and you should get this published if the rest is as good as the first part. I havent read the whole thing but I intend to. I think it was very good :)

LenoraBlanc said...
on Oct. 23 2009 at 4:48 pm
Great job, I really like the plot. Just a few things you could work on:

-Work on the dialogue a bit, it’s a bit stiff

-Be careful with your tenses (present tense, past tense)

-Don’t use too many trendy names in one story (Evalynne and Ash) otherwise it gets distracting

With a little editing I definitely think you could get this published.

on Oct. 8 2009 at 4:38 pm
Annabelle7614, Nunyabusiness, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is my favorite personal quote.

This is so totally awesome!! I love the storyline so far. Just two things that will have you well on your way to getting this published; make diologue sound like something a teenager would actually say. For example, "Wow, you did not make a very good first impression."

Instead of "Did not" put "Didn't" and throw in a little verbal habits most teens have. So it should turn out something like "Wow, girl, talk about a bad first impression!"

And second, add a little more description and less talking between the characters. List what color her room is painted and stuff like that. "I put down my pink diary and walked the two flights of stairs down to the kitchen, where my mom waited for me with a heaping plate of chicken." would be a little more descriptive than "I put down my diary and walked downstairs to eat dinner."

Stick to your style of writing and definately try to get this published! I love it!

on Oct. 8 2009 at 12:00 pm
JustAGirlNextDoor SILVER, Peachland, North Carolina
5 articles 6 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
I think my favorite quote is
"Would you rather me tell you the truth and make you sad or lie and make you happy".

It was great I am sooooo going to read the next part

on Oct. 5 2009 at 5:47 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

Wow, thank all of you guys so much for your support! I'm so thrilled that all of you like it! It means so much to me that there are actually people out there who enjoy a story that I wrote! Thanks so much! :)

on Oct. 4 2009 at 4:19 pm
BeautifulSimplicity BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
We keep it light, until it's time to go dark. Then we go pitch black.

DUDE THIS IS REALLY GOOD, IM GOING TO GO READ THE REST OF THEM, I WAS WANDERING, check the spelling and, SEND IT TO A PUBLISHER, AND WHEN U DO, TELL ME SO I CAN GO BUE IT CUASE THIS IS REALLY, GOOD! i wrote a story, and mine seems lame compared o this, im sorry if i seem reall wierd but this is really good! im still in schocked, im going on about how i like it so much and i havn't even finnished it yet DANG!

Anjo! SILVER said...
on Oct. 4 2009 at 1:23 am
Anjo! SILVER, Roseburg, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 211 comments
Dude. this was awesome. i cant wait to read more. It was hilarious. and almost any girl can connect with this character (especially Twilight since half of the girls in America has read it) lol. Anywho.. this is awesome keep writing

blooomeanie said...
on Oct. 4 2009 at 12:15 am
blooomeanie, Dunlap, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 18 comments
haha that was funny

i could feel the embarrassment/nerves from her

really, really good

keep it going!

on Oct. 3 2009 at 3:58 pm
Fredwardness SILVER, Romeo, Michigan
8 articles 6 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun" -The Killers (Read My Mind)

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." -George Harrison

rofl that was so funny, i would have felt the same if i was her tho, that was just so funny.

on Oct. 3 2009 at 11:54 am
KiraKira PLATINUM, Cardiff By The Sea, California
35 articles 0 photos 217 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, pity those who live without love -Albus Dumbledore

This is so cute! You really capture the reader, and your descriptions make the characters so real! Great job!

windblossom said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 8:13 am
windblossom, Hyderabad, Other
0 articles 19 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The caterpillar does all the hard work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity"

I'm gonna read all parts of this story!! nice work! :)!