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Leaving it to Fate
I handed my friend a steaming cup, then plopped myself down onto the couch beside her, folding my legs underneath me. I was very glad to have the house to ourselves, my parents gone to a convention for the weekend. I flipped on the electric fire-place and then with another push of a button on the remote, some mellow background music. She took a sip of her coffee and sighed contentedly, then turned to smile at me. “So…?” She gave me the wild, curious look she always got when there was to be gossiping. I laughed, nervously, and cleared my throat.
“I - Bianca…You are going to hate me.” I sat my cup down on the coffee table and rested my face in my hands. She rolled her eyes, I didn’t have to look to know she did.
“Oh, please! You have done this to me before, dear friend, and I forgave you then. Who is it now?” I lifted my head and looked at her with a heavy heart.
“Laek.” I groaned as she sputtered on her coffee, throwing herself into a small coughing fit.
“You are kidding me?!” She exclaimed, her mouth slightly agape with surprise. I shook my head, absolutely mortified with myself. Then I finally gathered the courage and the words to address her.
“It’s crazy, B. I’ve never felt anything like it. All I want is to speak his name, to hear it…but then of course when he’s in the room I’m shaken with nerves-if he dares speak to me I cannot utter a word back, and one look at him and I am completely paralyzed. I don’t know what to say or do, I can’t think clearly when he’s around. And when he’s not-thoughts of him rush on me, tormenting me. He’s in my dreams, both when I’m conscious and unconscious-he’s all I ever think about anymore - and he doesn‘t notice me.” Regrettably, her mouth had not closed. I slumped off the couch and fell to the floor, shoving my face into a pillow and screaming.
“You realize, Mel, that he is my uncle?” I groaned into the soft material of the pillow. “Yes - but he’s your very young, uncle.” I whined, my voice still muffled.
“That may be, but that does not change the facet that he is my uncle! The son of my tedious step-grandmother.” Her voice raised into the shrill tone that it got when she was angry or overwhelmed.
“Oh, B. What do I do?” Bianca fell to the floor beside me and patted my knee.
“Well. It seems you are quite smitten.” She played with the curly end of her long, chestnut braid as she spoke. “I suppose we must do something about this. I have Uncle Laek’s number in my cell phone.” I clambered to grab the leg of her pajama pants as she jumped up and started towards the stairs.
“Oh no you don’t!” I pulled her back down beside me by the hand and she fell reluctantly.
“I did not confine in you so that you could embarrass me. I just - I need someone to know. I can’t bare it all on my own. I need my best friend.” I poked my bottom lip out in a pout.
“Oh fine.” She turned to me with sympathy plaguing her pretty features. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you through this-just like I have all other unseemly crushes. Even if he is my uncle.” She sneered with a haughty look on her face.
“Thanks.” I whispered.
It seemed ridiculous to me that so much time and strength could be wasted on thinking about this one person, this one chance. But the thought that he could change my whole life and turn my world upside down was both intriguing and frightening. Crush…I pondered the word. Was it only a crush? Would I get over it, just like any other I had had? Or would it scar, even if I never advance on my feelings? And if I didn’t - would it forever plague me that I had never taken the chance? I didn’t know. These things only confused me even more. My head felt like it was about to explode.
But, for the moment, I decided to take bliss in the simple thought, the hope, that it could happen, one day - it was certainly a small dream, but a hopeful one, if anything.
I put my arm around my friend, hugged her and thanked her again. She looked at me bewildered, worried, but didn’t say another word about her uncle. I decided to leave it up to fate - if it was meant to be, certainly destiny would take care of it….right?