“Are you ready yet?” My mom’s question ran through my head over and over again as we drove to my new school.
“Are you nervous?” my mom asked. I simply shook my head and continued to stare out the window of my mom’s silver Honda. I saw her glance in the rearview mirror before she spoke again.
“I know it’s a big day and all, Danni. It’s perfectly normal…”
“Stop,” I said harshly, cutting her off. She sighed but, thankfully, didn’t respond. I felt the car jerk as my mom took a sharp turn before pulling into one of the school’s parking lots. I hurriedly jumped out of the car, not even bothering to turn around as my mom called out in a worried tone,  “Good luck, Danni!” I simply took a deep breath, put a bright smile on my face, and sauntered through the school doors.
~~~~~
Everybody stared at me as I entered my first classroom (which according to my schedule was taught by Ms. Harpins), making me even more nervous than I already was. Even though I had planned on acting outgoing, I had quickly come to the realization that that just wasn’t going to happen. That just wasn’t me. After being betrayed by my ex-best friend in my old school, I was a lot more shy.
“I would like to introduce our new student, class. Would you please come to the front of the room, sweetie?” my teacher asked. I slowly walked to the front of the room and started talking.
“Hi. I’m…” I stopped as my voice cracked and quickly cleared my throat. “Hi. I’m Danni Peterson. Um, I moved here last week and… um, yeah. That’s it,” I said, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. I heard a couple snickers as I stumbled back to my seat, and at the last moment, I tripped and fell flat on my face. I jumped up and scrambled into my seat. By now, the entire class was laughing. Ms. Harpins clapped her hands to try to get the class to focus, but I couldn’t. Instead, I sighed and slumped further into my seat, pulling my gray beanie over my face.
This is going to be a long day.
~~~~~
“BRINGGGGGG! BRINGGGGGG!” The bell rang and I sighed in relief, dashing out of the school and into the woods behind it. Once I was deep in the trees, I slumped against one and took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent. I pulled out my phone and hurriedly texted my mom.
“I’m gonna stay for another hour,” I typed. Almost instantly, I got a reply.
“Making some new friends?” I hesitated before finally responding.
“Yeah,” I said, keeping it short. With that, I put my phone on silent and crammed it into my backpack, pulling out my book of poetry instead. I picked up my pencil and started writing.
“When everybody you know,
When everybody you depend on,
When they all turn their backs on you,
Then maybe, you will understand.
My pain,
And how it feels
To be alone,
For an ETERNITY.”
Finally, I laid down and let the peace consume me.
~~~~~
When I walked in the next day, I noticed two things. One, Ms. Harpins was late. And two, everyone was staring at me. I raced over to my seat, as if it would protect me from their harsh gazes. Of course not.
“Hey Peterson,” said a mocking voice. I kept my head down and focused on the scratches on my desk instead.
“Hey kid!” the guy growled again. I took a shaky breath but continued to ignore him. Suddenly, a beefy hand shot out and grabbed the neck of my shirt, forcing me to finally look up. When I did, my dull gaze was met with stormy grey eyes. The guy’s lips curled back into a hideous sneer, like he was disgusted by someone as pathetic as me.
“Look,” he said angrily, jolting me out of my thoughts.
“You better not ignore me again, Peterson. ‘Cause next time, I won’t be so nice,” he said, his breath hitting my neck as I shuddered in disgust. He let go of me just as Ms. Harpins walked in.
“Chase Gold! What on earth are you doing?” she yelled incredulously. Chase smiled an innocent smile, flashing his perfectly straight teeth as he spoke.
“Just helping the new girl make some friends, Miss. Right, Danni?” He said sweetly. I sighed, realizing there was no other way out of this.
“Yes, Ms. Harpins. We were just talking,” I said, smiling brightly. Chase smirked and sat in the seat next to me, throwing his arms behind his head and his feet on the table. Ms. Harpins frowned and said,
“Now class, open your books to page 142.” I glanced at Chase and saw a broad, cruel smile on his face that made me wince slightly as I shied away from him. He leaned forward before speaking again.
“See, I’m not that bad,” he whispered. I glared at him as I hissed,
“In your dreams, pretty boy.”
~~~~~
A few days later, I walked in, my expression guarded. I quickly surveyed the cafeteria, just like I had the past couple of days. With gray benches and long lunch lines, it was nothing special. I sighed and finally went to the last empty table. I sat down with a soft thud and placed my tray in front of me, eyeing the mystery meat suspiciously. Then, I felt an unnerving presence behind me. My hands trembled as I picked up my plastic fork. All of a sudden, someone sat next to me.
“Hey. You’re the new kid, right?” a deep voice said.
“Yeah,” I muttered, tugging my beanie further over my ears.
“In that case…” the guy trailed off. Suddenly, I felt something cold and wet on my head. My jaw dropped as I pulled off my beanie, only to find it covered in strawberry smoothie. Without another word, the guy simply smirked and walked away. I jumped up and dashed to the girls’ bathroom. As I scrubbed my beanie with soapy water, I realized something.
I didn’t even know my attacker’s name.
~~~~~
It was dark out. Midnight, I think.
“Perfect,” I thought to myself. That meant my mom was asleep. I crept out of bed, my bare feet gently padding against the hardwood floors.
“You can do this. You have the stealth of a ninja. Be the ninja,” I whispered in my mind, before immediately blushing at my childish behavior. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before stepping into my bathroom. I glanced around till I found two pink razors, still in their packaging. I picked up one and tore away the plastic before disassembling it completely. I slowly raised one of the sharp blades and examined it, watching as it caught the light, glinting viciously. I took a deep breath and placed it a hair’s width away from my wrist before glancing up at the mirror. Suddenly, my hands turned to ice and the blades fell to the floor with a hollow “clank”. At that moment, the full force of what I had been about to do hit me like a ton a bricks. I might have been desperate, and I might have been in a hell of a lot more mental pain than I was used to, but this?
“No. Not this. This is too low. Even for me,” I thought. And I was right. I had been so ready to hurt myself over a couple of bullies, and I realized something. I had fallen into Chase’s trap. I had broken. I sank to the floor as I realized that they had won.
Finally, Chase Gold had won.
~~~~~
That night, my dreams were filled emptiness. All I dreamt of was static and thick clouds of smoke. Through the haze, though, I saw my thoughts. No, I felt my thoughts. How that could possibly be, I’m not sure. But the most prominent thought, the most prominent feeling, was one of sadness. Complete, and utter, sadness. And I realized, that this was depression. And it haunted me even in my dreams. As I thought that, everything went static again, and then, it was black.
~~~~~
I walked through the woods, my shoes covered in fresh mud. It had rained during school, so everything in the woods reflected my mood. Sad. Dull. Gloomy. It wasn’t that that day had been particularly bad or anything, or that Chase had been extremely horrible, it was just… gray. Every day seemed to fade into the next, only separated by the night. When I found a remotely dry spot on a tree stump, I sat down and dropped my bag. Yet again, I pulled out my book of poetry and started to write.
“There is no color,
  Only gray.
  And in this dull world,
People fade away.
Into shadows,
And gloom,
Our only light
Coming from the moon.”
But, before I could finish, I heard someone say, “Hey.” I jumped and slowly looked up, only to see a guy who looked about twenty. He had tattoos, piercings, and a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth.
“Who.. who are you?” I stammered. You would think he would chuckle, or do some other stupid thing, but that was not the case. Instead, he stared at me intensely for a moment before opening his mouth. My eyes followed the cigarette as it fell to the damp earth. As if in slow motion, his foot lifted before landing on the cigarette and grinding it into the mud. Finally, he spoke again.
“My name’s Kayden. But,” he paused, “you can call me Kayde. And you are?” His voice was deep, but quiet. Gentle, even. Like he didn’t want to disturb the peace.
“Umm… I’m Danni,” I said nervously.
“So, Danni, why are you out here all alone?” he asked, as if I was a little girl who needed help. My nostrils flared.
“I could ask the same of you!” I retorted, jumping to my feet. He chuckled, a light laugh, a genuine one.
“Woah, there. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just really curious. I mean, school’s over. I would think you ought to be at home by now,” he remarked. I blushed furiously and quickly opened my mouth to speak again.
“Well, if you must know, I always stay an hour after school. My mom’s fine with it. I, I just think here. And write poetry, like I was before I was so rudely interrupted,” I said, shooting him a glare. He laughed again.
“I always come here. I have been since I became… like this,” he said with a sigh, gesturing to himself.
I hesitated a moment before asking shyly, “How did you get like… that?”
He sighed before saying, “I was bullied as a kid. My parents didn’t care about me, either. So, when I turned eighteen, I moved out and became this.” For a moment, there was dead silence, before the disgusting “squelch” of the mud could be heard as I walked over to him and put a hand on his broad shoulder. Still, nobody spoke, but there was a silent understanding. That he was hurt. That I wanted to help. That he wanted absolutely none of my sympathy. So instead, we just stood there.
After what seemed like an eternity, I stepped back before saying,
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kayde. And I… I get it. So you’re not alone.” He smiled gratefully and handed me my bag. I slung it over my shoulder, grinned at him, and walked away feeling happier than ever.
~~~~~
It had been two weeks since I had met Kayde, and by now, we were best friends. The bullying had only gotten worse, however. More taunting. More pranks. More Chase. Kayde and I had talked about it, and every time we did, he tried to convince me to stand up to the bullies. Of course, me being the idiot I am, I always said, “Some other day.” I thought that “some other day” would never come until one day, I was about to leave school when I noticed a familiar figure leaning casually against a locker.
“Danni,” Kayde said. I frowned and asked slowly,
“Why are you here?” He sighed and said,
“You know exactly why, Danni.” Just then, Chase and his little “crew” decided to butt in.
“Who’s your freak, I mean friend, Danni?” he sneered. At that, I scowled and decided that Kayde was right. Enough was enough.
“You listen up and you listen well, Chase Gold! I have put up with you bullying me, messing with me, whatever! I have dealt with it for the past month! But when you bring the people I care about into this, you cross the line. And let me tell you, there’s no going back. I’m sick and tired of you hating me. What did I ever do to you? Or was I just an easy target? A weak little girl who couldn’t speak up for herself? Well I’ve got news. I’m speaking up now, like I should have on the very first day you bullied me. I’m done with you and your drama. So you know what, Chase? Forget you.”
Everyone stood there, stunned that I finally stood up for myself.
“Why you little! I’m going to make you pay, Peterson!” he spat. I simply smirked and said,
“You can’t, Chase. You can’t hurt me.” And with that, I grabbed Kayde’s hand and marched to the woods.
“That was amazing back there!” he exclaimed. I laughed, something I hadn’t done in a long time, and said,
“It had to be done. Thanks, by the way. For making me do it.”
“I didn’t make you, Danni. You got the courage yourself,” he said gently. He smiled softly and I grinned back before I was enveloped in his arms. As he hugged me, I thought to myself,
“Everything changes... except for this.”

The End